Hillary's Last Used Dentalfloss Strand of Hope: Sweetie-gate

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Thursday May 15, 2008 · 2:22 AM PDT

2008/05/15 · 02:22

From the current front page of the BBC news:

Barack Obama, candidate for the Democratic Party's nomination to run for US president, has apologised to a reporter for calling her "sweetie".

Reverend Wright move over. Get ready for ...

He later left a message for Ms Agar saying it was a "bad habit" and he "meant no disrespect".

The electorate will never forget this one: snorting cocaine is a bad habit, too. Anyone remember the scene from Coming to America when the Prince of Zamunda gives a wad of money to two homeless people, who turn out to be those guys from "Trading Places"? If I remember correctly, one of them then says to the other "We're back in business, Mortimer!"

Wouldn't it be fun to be the campaign manager who gets to call Hillary in the middle of the night and give her the good news?

Good News from Iraq

FudgeFighter

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Monday May 12, 2008 · 8:57 AM PDT

2008/05/12 · 08:57

In light of this story, I think there hasn't been enough reporting on good news from Iraq lately. So, without further ado, I present FudgeFighter's List of Positive Events Which Have Taken Place in Iraq Over the Past Few Days:.

Three days ago: birds flew; the sun hath shown.
Two days ago: the sun hath shown; man in southern province gets blowjob
One day ago: birds flew; the sun hath shown; no sandstorms in many areas; water flowing downhill
Today: various parents buy ice cream for their children; misquitos take day off; the sun hath shown; birds flew

So... now that we've got that out of the way and can agree on something, can we get the hell out of Iraq?

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This diary is

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This diary is

too long

4 votes

too short

8 votes

about right

15 votes

On God, Al Qaeda and Guilt by Association

FudgeFighter

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Sunday May 11, 2008 · 5:13 AM PDT

2008/05/11 · 05:13

I believe neither in a Biblical God, gods, karma, instant karma, or reincarnation. I do believe in a kind of "universal destiny" that we all share. I also believe in "universal punishment", referring to the fact that in the end, the best punishment you can give a jerk for being a jerk is that that jerk has to wake up, go to sleep, and live with him or herself for the rest of their lives. In its most modest interpretation "universal destiny" to me means that we and all life along with us came from stardust and that's where were going to end up again. Why?

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This diary is

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This diary is

too long

10 votes

too short

2 votes

about right

6 votes

Last Call to Superdelegates: Vote for Clinton or Be Obliterated

FudgeFighter

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Wednesday May 07, 2008 · 11:55 PM PDT

2008/05/07 · 23:55

I'm not saying I would do it outright now, but, were I President then yes, any and all super-dummies who voted for my opponent (and though I admire him and he's running a great campaign) will be, uhm, viciously wiped off the map. We certainly have the technology to do it.

On the bright side, she adds...

"That's a terrible thing to say but those people who run the Democratic party need to understand that because that perhaps will deter them from doing something that would be reckless, foolish and tragic," Clinton said.

As usual, Obama's response was more cautionary...
One of the things that we've seen over the last several years is a bunch of talk using words like 'obliterate,'" Obama, an Illinois senator, said in a separate ABC interview. "It doesn't actually produce good results: as far as I'm concerned, they'd better damn well vote for me, but I think I'll leave it at that.

FudgeFighter

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Saturday April 26, 2008 · 11:27 AM PDT

2008/04/26 · 11:27

I'm an American who has lived most of his adult life in Germany and works as a translator and English instructor. Over the past decade, I've done all types of translations- many technical, many advertisements- but also numerous "out of the ordinary" ones such as love letters for those willing to pay relatively good money to make themselves well understood. One thing I've never done, however, is the translation of a rhyming German text into English which also rhymes.

FudgeFighter

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Friday April 25, 2008 · 10:35 AM PDT

2008/04/25 · 10:35

If this ain't the funniest thing you ever heard:
India warns cricket cheerleaders

Indian police say the organisers of the new tournament transforming world cricket could be fined if cheerleaders are deemed to be dressed indecently.

title=

It seems that half-naked cheerleaders go against Indian tradition (see above). Or could it just be the pom-poms?

FudgeFighter

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Thursday April 24, 2008 · 3:03 AM PDT

2008/04/24 · 03:03

Breaking News from the BBC

A ship carrying weapons to Zimbabwe is returning to China after neighbouring countries refused to unload it, China's Foreign Ministry has said.

This is good news, folks.

The opposition says the weapons, which reportedly include three million rounds of ammunition, 1,500 rocket-propelled grenades and 2,500 mortar rounds, would be used in an on-going crackdown on its supporters.
Zimbabwe is recounting votes in the last elections and could be on the break of violence.

Maybe they'll arrive back in China just in time for the Olympics. The article quotes the Chinese foreign ministry as stating the weapons had been ordered last year. Hhhmm... I wonder why.

FudgeFighter

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Tuesday April 22, 2008 · 12:04 PM PDT

2008/04/22 · 12:04

If a massive swarm of locusts attacks Israel to the point that its very existence is called into question, would you try to obliterate the insects with a nuclear bomb? "Sure" you say... a bomb here, a bomb there, why not? But think again! Did you know that these animals have actually been gearing themselves up to survive a nuclear attack for the last two to three billion years? Alas, it could take our entire arsenal to "do the job that must be done".

Still not convinced that these creatures won't attack? Since I'm not a regular Bible reader, I found this from Wikipedea

The Orthoptera (which grasshoppers, crickets and locusts) are the only insects considered kosher in Judaism.

Got that? They have ample reason to attack in wanting Israel to take them off their list of kosher foods!

title=

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This diary would make you inclined to believe I

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This diary would make you inclined to believe I

am pretty tough

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smell like a man

8 votes

have my steak cut for me into tiny pieces by my mom

46 votes

Things you can do if you forget your lapel pin.

FudgeFighter

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Friday April 18, 2008 · 6:02 AM PDT

2008/04/18 · 06:02

At an important meeting and forgot the ole l.p.? Well my freedom-loving comrades, I'm telling you the secret service is out everywhere nowadays and, yes, they're checking those who have them and those who don't. One or two checks in their lists and it could be off and away to one of the five Great Island Reeducation Camps.

So... from now on. If you are walking around and notice you're without your pin, stop whatever it is you were doing and immediately fall to the ground. For Christ's sake, start singing the national anthem until help arrives. Too nervous to remember the words? Good luck explaining that to the judge (should you be "lucky" enough to ever see one).

Remember, things have changed a bit since the Guilt By Association Act. Are you familiar with or otherwise in close contact with anyone who has recently forgotten to wear their l.p.? Quick tip: pay attention to your local laws as knowing someone who knows someone who refuses to wear the official state pin can be considered a misdemeanor in some States.

FudgeFighter

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Wednesday March 26, 2008 · 5:44 AM PDT

2008/03/26 · 05:44

Before I proceed with the actual topic of this diary, let me just say something I think is "kinda funny". Remember when people say, in reference to Bush on Iraq, "When Clinton lied, nobody died." Well, just think: the same thing can now be said about Hillary Clinton in Bosnia. (think about it).

Now, on to my diary topic... ever ask yourself why stories about Obama's pastor and Hillary's lying heat up in the news so quickly, whereas the war crimes instigated by Bush and his regime of loud and quiet cronies remain largely unfollowed by all the mainstream McDonald's News Networks?

FudgeFighter

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Tuesday March 25, 2008 · 2:22 PM PDT

2008/03/25 · 14:22

The 2nd crane collapse within 10 days is being reported, this time in Miami. The first one, of course, being in New York.

From the BBC on the Miama (top link, above) collapse:

Correspondents say the construction industry in the US state is unregulated and there is no licensing system.

Unbelievable! There are more than enough laws in place to put thousands of people behind bars for minor drug offenses, but no licensing system to prevent these types of disasters.

Update: several posters have suggested that the BBC is wrong on this issue (see below)!

Obama, Loser-rama... I think it's too late.

FudgeFighter

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Sunday March 23, 2008 · 4:52 PM PDT

2008/03/23 · 16:52

Tho' it causes us great pain
we have to explain
yet again that his middle name rhymes with Hussein

His pastor's name is Wright
and though he said some bad stuff
it's his milkman, the Commi,
we find outlandishly gruff.

His message o' hope in the land of the free
is rope-a-doping the voters
into thinking he's a bit like Ali

Prominent members of my campaign have been forced to retract
certain statements previously taken as fact...
see, we all thought I'd have this election in the sack
If it weren't for the fact that this good man is black.

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Hillary's Last Used Dentalfloss Strand of Hope: Sweetie-gate

Good News from Iraq

On God, Al Qaeda and Guilt by Association

Last Call to Superdelegates: Vote for Clinton or Be Obliterated

Living in America, Rammstein Version

India Warns Western Cheerleaders

African Countries Show China the Finger

If a swarm of locusts attacks Israel...

Things you can do if you forget your lapel pin.

Why some stories make the news...

Two deadly crane collapses within 10 days

Obama, Loser-rama... I think it's too late.