My friends are all telling me this is great. I’m not so convinced, but here goes anyway:
Rose Garden Party (apologies to Ricky Nelson)
I threw a Rose Garden Party, to introduce Amy B.,
To attend you had to be maskless, and a member of the G.O.P.
Somebody crashed the party, unanticipated and unseen;
I like to call it the China Flu, but its real name is Covid-19.
But it’s alright now, I’ve learned my lesson well
You see, you can’t infect anyone ‘til you’ve first infected yourself.
Hope Hicks wasn’t there, I don’t know why; you know I like to hold her close
Wouldn’t you know she’d be the first in whom the virus was diagnosed.
Next to go was me, of course, despite my superb physique
Melania was there in her ongoing efforts to make the Rose Garden yet more bleak.
But it’s alright now, I’ve learned my lesson well
You see, you can’t infect anyone ‘til you’ve first infected yourself.
Lot-n-dah-dah… Lot-n-dah-dah-dah…
There were Senators Lee and Tillis, shakin’ hands and never bein’ alone;
Kellyanne came without her husband, but she promised to infect him at home.
Bill Stepien and Governor Christie, and the law school dean from Notre Dame
And a half-a-dozen more underlings; of course I don’t know their names.
But it’s alright now, I’ve learned my lesson well
You see, you can’t infect anyone ‘til you’ve first infected yourself.
People say it’s too bad that Mitch McConnell, and Congressmen Jordan and Gaetz
Couldn’t be there, but I guess they were just too busy out vexing the Democrats.
Looking back on the Rose Garden Party, one thing strikes me as odd –
I can’t help but think that Ruth Bader Ginsburg just won her first case before God.
But it’s alright now, I’ve learned my lesson well
You see, you can’t infect anyone ‘til you’ve first infected yourself.
Lot-n-dah-dah… Lot-n-dah-dah-dah…