Joe Williams, Glacier National Park, 1959
I wrote a diary a few years ago about my brother, Joe Williams, who survived a 45-minute to one-hour battle with a grizzly when he was 20. In the diary A Grizzly Ate My Brother I described his incredible ordeal.
Over the last few months, and especially over the last few days, I have been thinking about Joe and his take on resilience. I believe that Hillary Clinton is a very resilient person — and Donald Trump is not.
Joe and I talked a lot about his amazing ability to bounce back from events that would have sent most people screaming into the night — or at least hiding under their covers. In addition to the battle with the bear, Joe survived numerous heart attacks (he died on the table 3 times), two 6-way heart bypass operations, colon cancer — twice, kidney failure, and excruciating back pain due to decaying discs. He was also laid off 5 times due to corporate downsizing, so he finally started his own business. He worked every day until his death at age 73. He married a beautiful woman, and had four fabulous children.
Resilience is, at least in part, something we are born with. We certainly learn some from our parents. But Joe always said he learned his from the bear.
In Joe’s view, we cannot be resilient unless we are honest — both with others and with ourselves. Optimism is important, but we also have to be realistic. People who take optimism to an extreme think everything will be just fine, and may not take the necessary actions to resolve a situation. Joe believed in daily introspection. I don’t think Trump has ever been introspective in his life — and he has certainly not been honest, even with himself.
Many people think of resilience as sheer perseverance and persistence. Joe disagreed. Steadfastly pursuing a goal is admirable, but at some point we need to recognize that if our approach is not working (there’s that honesty thing again), it’s time to be flexible and try something else. The goal itself may not change (in Joe’s case, the goal was simply to stay alive) but the way to get there may. In my opinion, Trump takes perseverance to the worst level of stubbornness. In his mind, he is never wrong and nothing is ever his fault.
Another part of resilience is confidence — but not arrogance. Yes, we need to have strong beliefs, but they should be based on actual experience and knowledge, not self-aggrandizing opinion. Joe was confident that he would survive the bear (well, he was 20, and every 20-year-old thinks he is immortal). True confidence comes from overcoming problems and learning from them. I don’t think The Donald learns. He just keeps bulldozing over everyone and everything.
A big part of resilience comes from compassion. Joe really emphasized this. He spoke often about not holding a grudge (can you imagine DT thinking that?). Joe showed empathy and was an amazing listener. He really got people. At his funeral, people came from all over the country. I can’t begin to count the number of people who came up to me and said, “You know, Joe was my best friend.”
Last, but not least, Joe had a wonderful sense of humor. Note the caption on the photo above — he spent only one night camping in Glacier National Park because he has his “little encounter with a grizzly” on his second evening. Since the bear had eaten his buttocks, he referred to himself when speaking to his wife’s parents as “your half-assed son-in-law.”
Joe was cheerful, kind and loving. He was so worried about our parents that he would not tell the hospital staff his address, because our older brother had died in a car accident just a few years earlier, and he did not want Mom and Dad to get another middle-of-the-night call. When the Park staff finally reached them, they were told to get there as quickly as possible if they wanted to see him alive — because they would not take him home alive.
They replaced every drop of blood in his body. They lost count at 1300 sutures. The bear ripped off the right side of his face, ate the backs of his legs, his left ear, scalped him, and took large chunks out of his back, shoulders, and arms. During the necropsy of the bear, they found about 6 pounds of Joe inside her stomach.
When my parents finally arrived, Joe woke up briefly and saw them, standing by his bed and crying. He looked at them and asked “Hey, Mom and Dad, if I pull through this, can I have a Corvette?”
Here is a link to an NPR interview with Joe: Grizzly Attack
I truly believe that resilience can make the difference between success and failure, and even between living and dying. I believe as Democrats, for the most park, we are resilient. The Republicans are not, and that is how they have found themselves in a mess of their own creating.
