Polecat, I think you were more or less correct on all of your points. Now, where you lost the readers (and where all is often lost) is the framing. It's not nice to accuse people of being in the cult--the negative connotations are far too powerful in this day and age. It's a non-starter for Progressives, and the people who truly believe he's a cultist are already making their peace with that.
Though I do want to address claims that it's not a cult because you can leave...well...they sure don't like it when you leave. In fact, "You can check out but you can never leave" might as well be the LDS Corp's slogan. It's extremely difficult to have your name officially removed from the records. It requires a request in writing to the Main Office, which you can leave to your bishop to send, but he probably won't get around to it. Of course, they'll make sure that the Bishop will get in touch with you, and they insist an exit-interview is required. Of course, that's their last chance at the hard sell. My sister refused to participate in the interview, though, and they did eventually send her another letter letting her know she was removed from the roll.
They'll be coming for her again soon, though. That's how they work. They're still after me, even going so far as acquiring my personal cell number I never gave out to anybody (how? I still don't know) and calling to harass me on a regular basis. They aren't shy about it, either, and they'll send children over on a regular basis to guilt me back into returning to church. I haven't been an active member for eleven years and I just got a phone call from the local relief society (on my private number of course) asking if they can come over for a chat.
My best friend was once a member--the missionaries won't leave him alone.
Oh, and people who leave the LDS Corp as adults often lose their families in the process. Bishops encourage spouses to divorce spouses who are no longer believers, thus separating families, and anybody disfellowshiped or excommunicated is a pariah. Until very recently, people who requested their membership be terminated were brought to a "kangaroo court" in front of the Stake Presidency to be publicly condemned--kind of a "You can't break up with me, I'm breaking up with you!" move.You may be able to imagine what this might do to members in their community--they're no longer part of the community. Simple as that.
Leaving the LDS Corp is often a trying, lonely, depressing ordeal.
There's a recent study produced by whymormonsquestion.org that addresses the questions of why people leave and what they experience.
Comment from Respondent 548 (Male): Please make sure the Church encourages its believers to avoid ostracizing a fellow member for such member's disbelief.
Comment from Respondent 394 (Female): Please create a place in the church for women like me. I love the gospel and desperately want it to be true, but I have a hard time believing in a church that rejects critical thinkers and
feminists as "too willful" or "dangerously intellectual."... Thanks for all the good you do. I don't hate the church, and I truly believe that its leaders have the best of intentions... I'm just having a hard time seeing how I fit into it, and
don't see how God could possibly create a church that doesn't have a place for all of his children.
Please allow members that are trying to believe as much as they can to
attend the temple, baptize their children, etc. Please don't treat doubt as a sin.
Respondent 1732 (Female): Please help stop vilifying former members. Most of us are good, honest, ethical people just trying to live honest lives. We are not out to ruin anyone else's faith and we love our LDS friends and family and the last
thing we want to do is cause them pain. I have not come out to my family, mostly because I do not want them to think I am some sort of vile sinner, being deceived by Satan. I also do not want them to be devastated by the news, and they would be.
Maybe if the leaders of the church made sure to inform members that people leave for many legitimate reasons that have nothing to do with sinning or being offended, it would make it easier for people like me to be authentic with our families
Respondent #438 (Male): “Stop hurting marriages by driving a wedge between spouses on this issue. I have gone through hell and back and nearly divorced. We desperately need a General Conference address telling spouses
to not divorce an otherwise good spouse over non-belief. I have several friends who have been divorced over primarily this issue, and my own marriage is still on the rocks due to it, even though I am fully active.”
Read through that study, at the responses, consider what is being said, and ask yourself if it sounds like the Mormon church is a healthy environment. A cult? I don't know. After all, it is possible to leave it behind. Officially. Eventually.
What does all of that have to do with the ladies? Well, they're leaving. And with good reason.
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