The recent revelations about Ben Domenech being a plagiarist (and not merely a racist wingnut, traits which were overlooked and given a nod and a pass by the Washington Post) have once again brought a harsh light to shine on the practice of homeschooling. Many progressives picture all homeschoolers as denim jumper -wearing bible- embracing science-rejecting medievalists. Not true! There are many of us on the progressive side of things who homeschool. It doesn't mean that we reject the value of public education any more than choosing an alternative form of medical treatment means one rejects allopathic treatments. Having found myself on the defensive regarding my choice to homeschool frequently of late, I wanted to explain what brought me to that decision, initially. I have changed my son's name for privacy reasons.
Eamon was my first child. I was spectacularly ignorant when it came 'normal' child development, having never baby sat or held a baby before he was born.
When the first fingers of concern began tightening around my throat, Eamon was already over three years old. His development had been on target, according to the doctors who'd seen him - except for speech. Eamon simply didn't talk much. It was Australia, and it was 1987, and no one was terribly concerned. But that all changed.
By the time we'd moved to the United States and Eamon entered preschool, the nagging worries had turned into a constant thrum of concern and fear. We had Eamon evaluated at the local public school. The results were frustrating. He did poorly on most of the standard evaluation tests given, yet no one seemed to have answers. Tests were frequent, conclusions were troubling, answers were few. I left every evaluation meeting feeling more scared and less hopeful than the one before. The very worst thing, though, was that I began to view Eamon through their eyes - a child with deficits, a child who was substandard, with problems that limited his future and his hopes.
He entered "regular" kindergarten and received 'speech' therapy. But the public school's speech therapy program did not address Eamon's deep seated language and communication problems. Random diagnoses began to be bandied about, based, as far as I could tell, on the last workshop or speaker the evaluator had contact with. ADD. ADHD. Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Borderline low intelligence. Bleak, terrifying stuff for any parent to hear. We attended many IEP sessions, heard from a plethora of experts. The speech therapists were trying to help. The school was growing frustrated, and Eamon began to dislike school. He knew he was not succeeding according to their standards, and he knew he was 'different'.
As Eamon failed to make much progress in the areas outlined as weaknesses, the school began to advise me to have him removed from his 'regular' classroom and put him in a 'supported' environment. Unfortunately, at this time and place, all the 'at risk' children were grouped into one 'supported' classroom - and there was no evidence at all to indicate that the children put in that class made significant progress. I resisted, and the school authorities grew angry. The situation deteriorated. Eamon was 7 years old and in the middle of second grade. I made the very difficult decision to pull him out and embark on homeschooling. I needed to get Eamon into a situation that would give him the flexibility and safety he needed to find ways that he could learn and succeed. The school was out of answers. It was time for me to get creative.
It took a long time, and was a bumpy road. I sought - and eventually found - a private language therapy clinic attached to the speech department of a local college - that provided excellent help to Eamon. He was given a variety of diagnoses - auditory processing disorder, receptive and expressive language disorder, traits of high functioning autism - but rarely 'presented classically' with anything. The clinic advised us to worry less about a label and focus on 'compensation' techniques that would maximize Eamon's ability to function and live well. We helped him find ways that allowed him to learn at his pace and in the ways that he was comfortable with. Small but important victories began to appear in Eamon's column.
My husband and I made financial sacrifices that have put us in a very precarious position. There were times when it was overwhelming, and certainly tough challenges. But Eamon has just been accepted to Columbia College in Chicago, after completing three years at a local community college. He is finishing there with academic honors - the result of persistence and hard work on his part, and having learned that it's possible to try a different route if you hit a roadblock.
Most importantly, homeschooling my learning disabled child allowed us the freedom to pursue options that best met our needs, while respecting the dignity of all involved. The school warned me that as a parent, I was 'irrationally attached' to my child and thus was not the best person to help him. It was just that 'irrational attachment' that provided the fuel to keep going when we were discouraged, provided the compassion that allowed Eamon to see himself as a valuable person and not a 'deficit', and helped him grow into a creative, sensitive young man, one with an overwhelming amount of compassion for those who struggle. Homeschooling is not for all parents of learning disabled children. But it is an option for those who find the school structure is damaging the unique humanity of their child, and can be a well of blessings.