Rep. Paul Ryan would love to tell you
about his secret Democratic supporters.
But then he'd have to kill you.
(Jason Reed/Reuters)
Hahahahaha:
House Budget Chairman Paul Ryan told reporters in New York today that a dozen elected Democrats secretly support his plan to cut entitlement spending and privatize some benefits — but he wouldn't name "because I don't' want to get them in trouble." [...]
"There are a number of democrats but I don’t want to name their names, because I don’t want to get them in trouble," he said. "I’ve had 12 come up to me and say, 'I love what you're doing with Ron [Wyden],'" he said. As for going public with their support, Ryan said the Democrats told him: "No way, I’ll get killed."
Shorter Paul Ryan: I
totally have Democratic friends who support me. But, uh, you don't know them. They, uh, go to a different school. In Canada. And if I tell you their names, I'll jeopardize their very lives!
Of course, Paul Ryan doesn't know them either:
"I’m not going to out Democrats who I believe are in office, who are favorably disposed to these ideas, for their own sake and for the sake fo getting this consensus realized," Ryan said.
He
believes they're in office? He doesn't know? Exactly how are these life-threatening secret conversations taking place? Does Paul Ryan put a flower pot on his balcony and then meet with his secret Democratic Deep Throats in a dark parking garage, where they whisper to him, "Paul, I want to help you and the Republican Party end Medicare but don't tell anyone because they'll kill me!"
Or maybe, just maybe, Paul Ryan is completely full of it.