BREAKING: Donald Trump now says he will give $5 million to charity if Colin Powell releases his college transcripts.
Ann Coulter looks like she should be working the morning shift in a Reno strip club.
My friend likes to have musicians sign his guitar. I did even better by having George Clinton sign my bong.
I like to show my drivers license to strangers and ask them if they've seen this man.
The reason I don't go out much is that there's only so long I can pretend to be normal.
It's like my grandpa always said, "Don't get a blowjob from a hooker with acid reflux."
At what point does eating chocolate chips from the bag become a problem I should see somebody about?
You could answer almost anything with “not since the accident”