OK, I am seeing a lot of talk about transgender folks lately, and I am seeing a lot of terminology being used that is actually considered offensive to the transgender community. I write this Diary as a way to address this. I know that no meanness is intended with this terminology...it is a matter of ignorance in the truest sense (literally “ignorant” means “uninformed” — it is NOT synonymous with “stupid.”)
Fortunately, we have come a long way in ten years, when we had to fight the news media and the general public to use correct pronouns in addressing/referring to us. I would have to tell people: My pronouns are She, Her, and Hers, okay? Please relate to me as you would any other woman.
The most-common one I am seeing right now...is the term “transvestite.” I can tell you that when I first transitioned twenty years ago, that term was already in disfavor. I haven’t heard the word used in our community ever...and I have been in it for over twenty-five years.
“Transvestite” is a term which has acquired negative and clinical connotations...the preferred term is “crossdresser.”
Likewise, the term “transgender” originally was intended to replace “transsexual” — and it was done to remove the word “sex” from describing us...it, too, had negative connotations.
Today, the term “transgender” is more of an umbrella term to describe just about anyone who does not fit stereotypical gender roles. In this way certain gay men and butch lesbians could be said to be transgender — but the catch here is that you are only transgender IF YOU SELF-IDENTIFY AS SUCH.
The terminology is constantly changing...originally the term when I transitioned was Gender Identity Disorder — which is still sometimes used, although it is falling out of favor because if the word “disorder.” Gender dysphoria is the more common clinical term these days...most of us in the transgender community think of ourselves as “gender gifted.”
Gender Confusion is a term that was tried and quickly rejected, because WE ARE NOT CONFUSED ABOUT OUR GENDER.
Transwoman — this refers to a person born anatomically male who is becoming or has become fully a woman.
Transman — similarly, this refers to a person born anatomically female is is becoming or has become a man.
Crossdresser — there are both men and women who crossdress as their opposite gender. These people do not feel the gender they dress when they are not crossdressed. Some DO feel that way when crossdressed. Bob might feel like Betty when she is so dressed, but the next day, at the office, he is very much Bob, and very much male.
Drag Queen/Drag King — these are usually gay performers who dress for the purposes of performance art. They generally do not feel the gender they present on stage. Some straight people also perform as Kings or Queens.
Intersex — This is a term to replace “hermaphrodite” which also has fallen out of favor...and it is the “I” in LGBTIQ. These people are born with both, neither, or ambiguous genitalia and/or chromosomes. Often, years ago...these people would be assigned at birth to one or the other, and usually the decision was made based upon whatever was easier for the surgeon...and long before those who were so altered had any say in the matter — sometimes parents of Intersexed children were never even informed. One of the most notorious of these cases did not actually involve a truly Intersex person, but rather a baby who had received a botched circumcision...and was surgically altered as a baby to female. See a Google search on Dr. John Money.
DIARIST’S NOTE: I had originally incorrectly used the term “Intersexed” — which is an older term not used any longer, and did so out of habit. I have changed it within this Diary so that it is correct, but I did not wish to just make an edit and act as though I had gotten it right from jump street.
You see, even folks like me who are in this community make mistakes about these things.
There are more terms and I invite other members of those elements of the transgender community to include those, as I am not as well versed on some of these things...even as a 25 year member of this community. If you add a definition in the comments, I will include it in an update to this Diary.
And I have such a request: A commenter had noticed my own reference to the Neutrois...and had asked me to include it in the top part of the Diary, as this is something that the commenter feels very much applies in that person’s case (sorry not sure what pronouns to actually use here)
I have some small element of the Neutrois in myself, but do not qualify as a true Neutrois in any real sense...because I do strongly identify female...even when I am deliberately presenting androgynous. So that being the case, I am going to put the “official” definition of Neutrois up here...and if there is anything not correct, please let me know!!
Neutrois is a non-binary gender identity which is considered to be a neutral or null gender. It may also be used to mean genderless, and has considerable overlap with agender - some people who consider themselves neutrally gendered or genderless may identify as both, while others prefer one term or the other.
Neutrois people may experience dysphoria and wish to transition. Often, neutrois people prefer for their gender expression to be gender neutral orandrogynous, although this is not always the case. Some neutrois people wish to medically transition to remove all sex characteristics, but others only wish to remove some characteristics, or do not desire surgery at all.
As with many other non-binary identities, neutrois people may not have their gender legally recognised on their documentation. However, an increasing number of places allow for non-binary identities to be recognised, including Facebook, which includes neutrois as a gender option.
Neutrois people can be of any assigned sex and have any sexuality.