A detailed survey of the posting on this site has revealed that too much time is spent writing boilerplate and very little on content.
In a service to my fellow Kosmopolitans I am providing this template for future postings. No longer will you have to spend time typing the same stuff over and over in order to communicate that new nugget of information you have, in a blinding flash of light, had revealed to you (or as more often the case, seen on Drudge and assume no one else has seen.
The "This Will Blow Bush Out of the Water!" Declaration
{Select one (Recent revelations) or (Information about to be released)} about {fill in the blank} will be the final straw that will wake up the masses and convince them that {select one (Bush is a liar) or (Bush is incompetent) or (the WingNuts are evil) or (Kerry is God)}.
The Poll analysis
The recent poll from {Fill in the blank} is {If Kerry is shown ahead insert (great news!) else insert (fatally flawed)}. Everyone knows that {Insert polling agency here} is {select one (biased for Bush) or (always right on the money)}
{If Kerry is ahead insert (praise for the masses for understanding the glory that is Kerry) else (Pick one (explain how the polling model is flawed) or (explain how the polling agency did not correctly interpret the internals) or (explain how current events influenced the voters to vote against their best interest) or (explain how the masses are just stupid.)}
{If Kerry leads the EC then (explain how the EC is all that matters in the end) else (State that "No one who voted for Gore last time will vote for Bush this time but lots of Bush 2000 voters will vote for Kerry this time.)}
Kerry is going to kick ass!
I have the Greatest Ad(d) Idea Since Apple's 1984 Ad(d)
Evil music
Commentator (over a black screen): {Insert facts about something Bush said.}
Happy Music
Close-up on Kerry walking through {select one (a wheat field) or (a classroom) or (a closed factory)}.
Kerry: {Insert some very witty comment that both shows Bush to be the idiot that he is while at the same time offers a great new wonderful tomorrow.}
Kerry: I'm John Kerry and I support this ad because Bush is {Select one (a dick) or (a liar) or (incompetent)}.
PROOF!!!! that the media wants Bush to win!!!
We have all suspected that the SCLM wants Bush to win but here, at long last, is the ultimate proof.
Yesterday Bush said {Insert some stunningly stupid lie made by Bush}.
Today {Insert the name of some media group} {Select one (refused to report it) or (reported it but made it sound like a good thing) or (totally refused to investigate the validity of the claim)}.
Kerry responded with {Insert long detailed and utterly boring statement, modification of the statement, restatement, mixed metaphor, and witty comment but in the end technically truthful and correct} which the media refused to quote in whole and anyway the media presented the truth as being somewhere in between the two statements!!
Kerry is going to {Select one (lose) or (win)}
{Pick some meaningless detail out of the daily ebb and flow of the campaign. Blow it out of proportion. Explain how this issue will dominate the event and swing all the swing voters. Predict {select (gloom) or (victory).}
Someone got some fact wrong!!
{State the incorrect fact and the situation under which it was presented. Explain how in some situations how that fact could be incorrect. Explain in agonizing depth and go on for some length about how this proves that the SCLM are not doing their job. Act surprised and feign indignation.}
Beat a dead horse
{Pick the hottest topic from two weeks ago. Present some new but essentially trivial development in that topic. Explain how it changes everything. Decry the fact that the media is ignoring this new development. Suggest that we all write to every media outlet including the Stamp Collector's Gazette.}
Kerry is winning
I used to think that Kerry was really blowing this campaign because he fails to take advantage of Bush's weaknesses, fails to break through the horse race reporting and get his message out there, fails to answer damaging attacks on his character, often looks like a flip-flopper even though he isn't, pretends as though Bush is running a clean campaign, and he's ugly.
But now because {insert some subtlety of the most recent poll internals that show a very marginal advantage to Kerry when looked at backward in the mirror after a strong drink} I realize I have just been defeatist and Bush is going to get his butt kicked.
Compare two campaigns and explain how one candidate is making the same mistake as the other
{Select one (Bush) or (Kerry)} is going to {Select one (win) or (lose)} because he is running his campaign just like {Insert previous candidate}.
{Go on to point out the fact that the previous candidate did some stuff to try to convince voters to vote for him and either succeeded or failed and compare that to the current candidate.}
Explain that (Gasp!) Bush is a flip flopper
Bush often labels Kerry a flip-flopper. Has anyone noticed that Bush is a flip-flopper???!!!
{State any of the many, many, many examples of Bush's inability to stick to the same story on any single fact in his entire life, career, philosophy, etc.}
Ask why the media doesn't call Bush a flip-flopper.
Explain how Kerry isn't really a Flip-Flopper
{Cite an example where the SCLM is calling Kerry a flip-flopper for having said two diametrically opposing things.} {Select one (explain how Kerry just changed his mind because conditions changed and point out that Bush is a failure for not doing the same) or (parse Kerry's explanations to show that in some very careful interpretations the nuances of the implied positions could possibly maybe be the same)}
{Someone in the SCLM} said {something}
{Provide a link to a news story with something that isn't good about Kerry. Act all bent out of shape that someone would do that. Explain why you think they were wrong. Include a few personal attacks on the media person. Provide links to the media person's webmaster (i.e. circular file). Encourage everyone to send emails. If the statement was specially egregious then provide links to the media outlet's advertisers too.}