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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Go get `em, Pat!
"I find it inconceivable that the Bush administration is planning to hold a traditional Inauguration complete with the usual Inaugural balls. These are not usual times. These are times for sacrifice, not celebration. Our country is at war, and each day our soldiers are dying or are critically injured. Why are they the only ones expected to sacrifice? Inaugural balls were not held during World War II. How much better it would be to conduct a simpler ceremony and use the money saved to form a fund for families of those who have died or been wounded in the war. Such a gesture by our government would embody compassion, respect and appreciation for the sacrifices that have been made by our troops and their loved ones."
Pat D. Kennedy, Lakewood, Colo.
Letters to Newsweek
Inauguration price tag: $30-$40 million. It's good to be the king.
Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, December 16, 2004...
By the Numbers:
Days `til Christmas: 9
Days `til 2005: 16
Temperature of the ocean off the coast of Portland: 44F
Number of ridges on the edge of a dime: 118
Percent of U.S. households with Internet access in 1998: 26.2%
Percent of households with Internet access in 2003: 54.6%
(Source: Census Bureau)
Year President Franklin Pierce began the tradition of having a Christmas tree in the White House: 1856
Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Oh, go mush yourself. We're on strike." http://strony.psy.pl/husky/zdjecia/puppy.jpg
CHEERS to our public school teachers. A major study comparing public schools with private "charter schools" (promoted by the Bush administration as the holy grail of education reform) has been published by the National Assessment of Education Progress. Results mirror another group's study from earlier this year showing that, on the whole, public schools do a better job of teaching our kids: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002121119_charter16.html. In the teacher's lounge today: a fresh bottle of Bacardi 151, courtesy of C&J.
JEERS to George W. Thumbs. Bush is holding a summit this week on a subject he knows even less about than the U.S. Constitution, CIA intelligence or the teachings of Jesus---the economy: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2004-12-15-economic-conf_x.htm. And next week he'll demonstrate the latest gallbladder-removal techniques on C-Span.
CHEERS to doing drugs. In a controversial move (the pharmaceutical companies are pissed, naturally), Consumer Reports says it will start rating prescription drugs. Volunteers for the sex pill trials are lining up around the block.
JEERS to Silence. That's what we're hearing from the religious left as the Religious Right sends their steamrollers through the pews. Exhibit A (via Pam's House Blend via Raw Story): Operation Christian Vote, a Jerry Falwell-inspired drive to sign up 10 million new evangelical voters by 2006: http://rawstory.bluelemur.com/index.php?p=122. This calls for a swift and immediate...um...pancake supper.
CHEERS to election misperceptions. Confirming what our gut told us all along---moral values didn't swing the election: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=90&u=/ep/20041214/en_bpiep/newgalluppollraisesques
tionsaboutmediafocusonvalues&printer=1. Will this correction trickle down to minds across America? Only when palm trees line the streets in Portland, Maine.
CHEERS to venting at 35,000 feet. The FCC says it may allow in-flight web surfing as early as 2006: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=2&u=/ap/20041215/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe
/fcc_air_travelers. The poor souls sitting directly in front of DailyKos contributors are gonna end up with whiplash.
CHEERS to civil disobedience...with pinky extended. On December 16, 1773, rebellious colonists dumped a few hundred chests of tea into Boston Harbor to protest British taxation, an event now known as the Boston Tea Party. C&J always wept on this date until we found out it wasn't the Long Island iced variety.
JEERS to cognitive dissonance. C&J reads in `The Week' magazine that "Condoleezza" is an Italian musical term meaning "with sweetness." But to us it will always mean "with cello stuffed up ass."
CHEERS to Hobbit Hijinx. The expanded DVD of `Lord of the Rings---Return of the King' is a grand nachos-with-cheese-and-salsa affair (and a bargain at $22). And with Christopher Lee finally getting his comeuppance, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
JEERS to psychotic telemarketers. A Detroit woman hung up on an aggressive phone sales rep and received the following letter: "Before you are rude to another telemarketer, you should keep in mind that he or she has your phone number and your address. Many of them live in your own state and most don't give a shit!" Aaaaaaaannnnd...cue the Psycho violins: Reet! Reet! Reet! Reet!
CHEERS to the 2004 Election. Sure, it sucked donkey doodles nationally, but state results were rather dandy: http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/state/2004-12-14-dems-hidden-election_x.htm. "This is the optimist police! We have you surrounded! Put down the Prozac and come out with your attitude up!"
JEERS to teensy weensy white lies. [Empty your mouth of liquid contents, please] A dying Massachusetts woman revealed to her children that Dear Old Dad didn't really die in a car crash. No, she killed him and kept the body in a freezer at Planet Self Storage in Somerville. Crazy old broad...we pay 50 cents a week less keeping our relatives over at the EZ-Store in Woburn.
JEERS to fun spoilage. The "grownups" at the "Washington Post" have come out with their 11 "tips" for office gift-giving. Number 5: "Forget the booze. What seems like a generous gift to you could be an unfortunate trigger for a recovering alcoholic, or just plain useless to someone who doesn't drink for personal, medical, or religious reasons." If you've already purchased wine or spirits, please send them to C&J and we'll carefully store them. In our liver.
JEERS to Scrooge McPoopypants. Jeff Bustle, the owner of the Teasers adult nightclub in Statesville, North Carolina, has given over a thousand gifts to needy children in public housing units over the past 14 years. But this year the head of the housing authority put the kibosh on Jeff's generosity because---Waaah!---he was cwiticized wast year for pwomoting a stwip cwub. Penalty for robbing the kids of Christmas: a month's worth of lap dances...by his wife.
CHEERS to paying attention. Georgina Smith is a New York science teacher who noticed that the kids in a laundromat she passed on her way to work were always playing video games or watching TV. She persuaded the Clean Rite owners to donate $12,000 worth of books and school supplies. Today the "Wash & Learn" program is a big hit and... Oh, fer cryin' out loud, there's that damn lump in my throat again.
Cheers and Jeers 6-month Flashback: June 16, 2004
JEERS to Dick "Dick" Cheney. Continues to perpetuate the Big Lie, saying Monday that Saddam "had long established ties with al Qaeda." Look, it was an Amway convention and they exchanged a few words about laundry detergent. Let it go!
JEERS to Kerry's Veep pick. According to 'U.S. News and World Report,' AFL-CIO execs say it's a `done deal'---Gephardt's the man. Oh well...at least he'll make Kerry look like Elvis.
And just one more:
CHEERS to holiday shopping made easy. From the Cheers and Jeers holiday catalog: http://www.spicyhumor.com/pictures/addiction_denial.jpg. Cash only, please.
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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