Now, what Mr. Highhorse doesn't understand is that Mr. Smartass has been kicking the crap out of him for years, and regardless of what happens in this stupid little debate tonoght, Mr. Smartass is going to keep on kicking the crap out of him where it really matters: control of the government and control of the message. Because, you see, while Mr. Highhorse sniffs at the very idea of using his money to support his principles (although the truth is, he's just afraid of losing it himself), Mr. Smartass knows that it takes money to make money, and he isn't afraid to throw it around: using it to create foundations and keep people on a payroll so that they can support the cause and not have to worry about trivial matters like rent and bills. Mr. Highhorse thinks he can fight this by building a few more ivory towers, but these don't accomplish much of anything except to give a few more people in his little clique a place to assuage their guilt while earning a few bucks. Of course, he demands that anyone
outside of their little
kaffeeklatsch either work for them for free or give them money and keep their mouths shut about it.
From time to time, I receive an invitation to attend, if not participate in, an event sponsored by the local free weekly newspaper, which by the way happens to be better than our regular daily newspaper. The event is a debate between "left" and "right" on assorted issues of the day. I have yet to accept such an invitation, partly for practical reasons: I can't afford to eat out, and since I don't have a car, I really don't have a way of getting to the event to begin with. It would help if some of the people who say I ought to go would give me a ride there, but their behavior isn't much of a surprise, and I'll get to that later. Another reason is that I really don't fit in with either the debaters or the audience for such occasions, and they don't care about me any more than I care about them. I think the whole thing is just a pointless exercise that means nothing and accomplishes less than that.
These meaningless debates, to me, are a microcosm of what's wrong with American politics today, because they only represent two viewpoints, and these viewpoints are represented by the two debaters. If, however, I ever accepted such an invitation, here's what I'd probably do: before the debates actually began, I'd grab a mike and say the following:
You know, I really didn't want to participate tonight. I'm nobody special, after all, I'm just some guy with a two-bit radio show and a blog that maybe a hundred people or so read. And I get the impression that they just brought me up here to see if they can humiliate me. But you know what, there's nothing very special about them, either, and about who they represent.
I mean, take a look at Mr. Smartass over there, our Republican. He's a total asshole, but he has a big audience: in fact he has a big audience precisely because he's such a total asshole. He thinks he's better than everybody else and doesn't give a rat's ass about anything above and beyond boosting his own ego and filling his bank account. He gets away with all his bullshit because nothing he says or does is really gonna affect him in a negative way. He's got a huge support group built just for him, and they'll make sure that he never has to worry about paying the rent or keeping up with his bills, as long as he keeps on being an asshole and handing out the party line. I mean, even when he goes too far and says something that's a little too honest for the powers that be, they'll just hide him in a safe-house somewhere until the heat dies down, then bring him right back again. So why should he care about how what he says affects other people's lives?
And here we have Mr. Highhorse, the guy who says he's a Democrat. He talks a lot more about principles and high-sounding crap than Mr. Smartass does, but the truth is he secretly believes half the stuff Smartass says. Oh and make no mistake, he also thinks he's better than anyone else, he just thinks it's rude to be so obvious about it, as if that makes any real difference. He also doesn't care about how much things are gonna affect him because he's got plenty of money too, and when it comes down to a decision between his money and his prnciples, well, let's just say that he knows what's really important.
Now, what Mr. Highhorse doesn't understand is that Mr. Smartass has been kicking the crap out of him for years, and regardless of what happens in this stupid little debate tonoght, Mr. Smartass is going to keep on kicking the crap out of him where it really matters: control of the government and control of the message. Because, you see, while Mr. Highhorse sniffs at the very idea of using his money to support his principles (although the truth is, he's just afraid of losing it himself), Mr. Smartass knows that it takes money to make money, and he isn't afraid to throw it around: using it to create foundations and keep people on a payroll so that they can support the cause and not have to worry about trivial matters like rent and bills. Mr. Highhorse thinks he can fight this by building a few more ivory towers, but these don't accomplish much of anything except to give a few more people in his little clique a place to assuage their guilt while earning a few bucks. Of course, he demands that anyone outside of their little kaffeeklatsch either work for them for free or give them money and keep their mouths shut about it.
Oh yeah, and let's not forget that Mr. Smartass doesn't play by the rules. Why should he? Rules are for losers, and he's playing the game to win, while Highhorse here wants everyone to play nice. We all know how that always finishes up. In short, Highhorse is doomed because Smartass is a fanatic who just won't accept losing and is willing to do anything, and I mean anything, to keep that from happening, and Highhorse is more interested in understanding why he has that attitude than he is in fighting back.
But if I were you, Mr. Smartass, I'd wipe that stupid, know-it-all smirk off my face. Because what you don't understand, what you can't see because you're way too busy being full of yourself to figure out, is that even if you manage to beat the shit out of Mr. Highhorse, there's an entirely different group of people who are capable of plastering that ugly puss of yours all over the wall. You and Highhorse here have been ignoring them: you call them sheeple, you call them the unwashed masses, you both call them every insult you can think of, but I have news for you, when it comes right down to it, for every Smartass and Highhorse in the world, there are thousands of them. They're here right now, though you may not have given them a moment's notice. They're the ones serving your drinks, cooking your food, and cleaning up after you. They built the fancy cars you drove to get here, they built the roads you drive them on, they built the very building we're having this debate in, and if they didn't exist, you'd both have been killed by your own incompetence a long time ago.
You see, they don't give a shit about your little debate here because, regardless of how it turns out, they still have to go to work tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. And if you, Mr. Smartass, get your way, they'll have to work harder and harder for less and less money. They've been in the dark about this fact for a long time, and some of them are more aware of it than others, but they're slowly beginning to realize that you're helping to make their lives more miserable, and for the most part, they're going to blame you. Half of them don't even go out and vote, and of course you're counting on that, Mr. Smartass. The more they stay away from the polls, the better your chances of getting what you want.
And Mr. Highhorse here, who got his money because of the hard work and sacrifice of people like that, people who he thinks are beneath him, doesn't understand why they no longer blindly support him. The reason, for those of us who are paying attention, is because you're nothing more than a snivelling little coward who won't fight back. And when they come for Mr. Smartass, they're going to reserve some of that anger for what's left of you, because you had the chance to take Mr. Smartass down years ago, but you were too busy pretending you were above it all, and too busy enjoying the rich and pleasant lifestyle that these people helped create for you to make the sacrifices that needed to be made for the future.
You don't have to believe me. History is filled with examples of people who went too far because they were so interested in their pointless little games that they failed to understand that there's a whole world full of people who don't give a shit about them. It doesn't matter if they come from the right or the left, or neither: Mussolini, Ceausescu, Louis XVI, they all went down because they weren't satisfied with the money and power they had, they had to go out and get more and more until there wasn't enough for everyone else. And I'm putting you both on notice right now that sooner or later that dam is going to break. You may win in the short term, Mr. Smartass, but either the people of the US are going to rise up and put you down, or the rest of the world is going to stand against you and take you out. How soon this will happen is going to depend on how big an asshole you continue to be, and likewise how much longer Mr. Highhorse continues to be a coward.
Now, I'm not fool enough to imagine that my puny words are really going to change anything. I mean, I'm just this guy, you know? I don't have any money, I don't have any power, I do a radio show and write a little journal, that's all. But unlike Mr. Smartass and Mr. Highhorse, I understand what's really going on. The thing is, all that has happened in the past, everything that's happening now, and everything that will happen in the immediate future, happens because of human nature. And humans are still ruled, for the most part, by a combination of fear and ignorance. In six thousand years of human history, the only thing that has really changed is the efficiency by which we are able to kill each other and the increasingly sophisticated ways we justify it. What's happening in Washington D.C. right now is little different from what happened in Athens 2500 years ago, just as it has played itself out numerous times in between, all over the world. In short, until the very nature of human beings themselves change, things will continue as they always have. Eventually, we'll realize how horrible things have become and fix it, or we'll just blast ourselves back to the Stone Age or worse.
So, you may ask, in the face of all this cynicism about human nature, why should I bother to say or do anything? Why should I keep fighting? Why not simply accept things and even profit from it like the Smartasses do?
I fight because, being as stupid and naiive as I am, I'm still an optimist. I think, in the end, we're going to overcome the darker side of our nature and become something greater, only to face newer, greater, challenges in the future. The only question for me is, how bloody will it get before that happens? So enjoy your little debate, I'm gonna go home and make love to my wife while I still can.