From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
BREAKING NEWS!
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=507820
Customers complained that with every step, their shoes made the sound of someone passing gas.
"They were whoopie cushions for the feet," said Bryan Thomas, an officer with shoe maker Goosebumps Products Inc.
The Orlando-area company on Wednesday sued a supplier, accusing it of delivering the wrong chemical for an insole gel, giving the shoes an unwanted sound effect.
"It very nearly put us out of business," Thomas said.
Goosebumps' largest distributor complained as well, and the company tossed at least 35,000 pairs at a cost of $200,000 to $250,000.
The suit claims Bell Chem Corp. of Longwood delivered a low-grade glycerin that was watered down...that caused air bubbles to form inside the insoles, it said.
When people step down on them, the inserts produce "a flatulence-like noise," according to a report by a Goosebumps' chemist, Richard Cavestri.
Put me down for a dozen pairs. Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Entry section... [Swoosh!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, February 18, 2005...
By the Numbers:
Days `til Key West: 7
Days `til Summer: 123
Days `til `Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith": 90
Amount spent nationally on pothole repair from 1981-2000: $900 million
Amounts omitted from Bush's budget: $1.1 trillion (tax cuts) + $2 trillion (gutting Social Security) + $81 billion (Iraq war) = SWEET JESUS!!
Number of candles on Atrios's birthday cake today: 33
Number of days spent at terror alert level Blue or Green: 0
Your Puppy Pic of the Day When life gets tough it's best to stick together and hold paws: http://www.atlantapetaxi.com/Atlanta%20Petaxi%20pics%204-30-04/springer%20and%20puppy.jpg. May I join you?
CHEERS to bipartisanship. Right-wing wacko G. Gordon Liddy "co-hosted" an hour of the Al Franken Show yesterday, and hearing the two of them howling over Bill O'Reilly's self-described "combat record" (http://www.airamericaradio.com/weblogs/alfrankenshow/) was priceless. See? We can agree on some things---like the USA's biggest numbskull.
JEERS to new appointments same as the old appointments. Bush nominated John "Too Bad About the Nuns" Negroponte yesterday to be America's first Intelligence Chief, and we're confident he will quickly rise to his own level of incompetence. P.S.---perhaps we could kick in a few bucks to help him legally update his name to African-Americanponte?
CHEERS to momentum. Despite hesitancy on the part of Democrats (Argh!), the Jeff Gannon scandal is still gathering steam. Americablog has a great summary of the current press cycle: http://americablog.blogspot.com/2005/02/morning-gannon-update.html. Will the Sunday talk shows ask the right questions? To be continued... Hehheh.
JEERS to asses in patriot's clothing. The U.S.S. Jimmy Carter---a Fast Attack Class submarine---will be commissioned tomorrow in Groton, Connecticut. It should be a grand bipartisan celebration of the best navy in the world...so leave it to fundy wackos to spit on the moment: http://www.theconservativevoice.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=3012. We have a suggestion for who should swallow the first torpedo...but we're too polite to say it in public.
JEERS to p...SLAM!...otholes. How bad are they this year in Maine? Let me put it this way: Need a hubcap?
CHEERS to dependable character actors. Happy 80th Birthday to George Kennedy. He won his Oscar for `Cool Hand Luke' and achieved comic cult status in the `Naked Gun' flicks. But in our DVD player tonight: `Airport.' Clear that runway, Joe Patroni!
JEERS to protecting Goliath by taking away David's slingshot. President Bush will sign a bill today that makes it easier for companies to sell dangerous or unhealthy products without fear of class-action lawsuits. Molly Ivins is not happy about it (a must-read): http://www.creators.com/opinion_show.cfm?columnsName=miv. Coming soon from Mattel: Barbie's Asbestos and Lead Paint Dreamhouse.
JEERS to the new oxymoron: Antidepressant. A newly-released analysis of 87,000 patients shows that adults who take Prozac and other happy pills are twice as likely to attempt suicide than people who don't. Thank goodness Dr. Bill knows of an alternative remedy that's available without a prescription: http://abcfamily.go.com/whoseline/index.html. That'll be 5 dollars, please.
CHEERS to Stalling for America. On February 18, 1841, the first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate began. It lasted until March 11. One thing we'll never have to worry about---a politician running out of words.
JEERS to taking your deflated ball and going home. After evading several questions ("I can't." "I won't." "I am not going to give you a number."), a cranky Donald Rumsfeld got up and left a House Armed Services committee hearing yesterday: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A30800-2005Feb16.html?sub=AR. Days = Numbered.
CHEERS to great discoveries. On this date in 1930, astronomer Clyde Tombaugh discovered a new planet in our solar system. He called it Pluto. Republicans called it Home.
JEERS to animal abuse. Sean Hannity just got a new puppy. See it here: http://www.hannity.com/story.php?content=/namethatdog. Run, doggy! Run like the wind!
CHEERS to hoop dreams come true. `Hoosiers'---one of the best sports movies ever and career highlights for Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper---is coming out as an extended DVD on March 1st, says Premiere magazine. It has 13 extra scenes, director commentary and (this is very cool) the full TV broadcast of the 1954 Indiana championship on which the movie is based. Our one-word review: "Swish!"
JEERS to impatience. Still three months to go `til we finally learn how Anakin becomes Vader in `Star Wars III.' But if ya just gotta know stuff now [Spoilers!], click here, my young apprentice: http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/secretdisplay.cgi?id=19442. How nice that C3PO and his partner get hitched in Massachusetts. Oops...sorry.
CHEERS to VCR alerts. `Real Time with Bill Maher' starts a new season tonight at 11 on HBO. And what a killer lineup: http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/. If our howls wake the neighbors...tough.
JEERS to that sonuvabitch. Walking home from work yesterday. Crossing the street. Guy (18? 19?) runs a stop sign. BiPM comes within a gnat's ass of becoming a fender accessory. C&J almost becomes Koufax nominee for Best "Ex"-Series." TGIF, y'all---we live to snark another day.
C&J Flashback: February 18, 2004...
JEERS to Deanoholics. A poor third-place showing in the Wisconsin primary means a slow weaning off the hope of real change in America. Our first 12-step meeting starts at 7 in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot. [2/18/05 Update: A great first-place showing in the DNC chair race means hope for real change in America. Our victory party starts at 7 in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot.]
JEERS to Laura Bush. Says courts should butt out of gay marriage because, "It's an issue the people want to talk about." No, Milady, the courts---and even acts of civil disobedience---are sometimes necessary precisely because people DON'T want to talk about it. Here's a fifth grade social studies book...knock yourself out.
And just one more:
CHEERS to Windows for...um, windows: http://www.verparacreer.net/imagen.php?f=1108594800&n=1. I hope nobody's home when it crashes.
Have a GREAT weekend. Remember, Cheers and Jeers IS the best series because YOU make it the best. Floor's open. Have at it, you beautiful vultures...
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