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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Pop Quiz (no copying!)
When a person said to this president, "I bet someone that I could get more than two words out of you," the president replied, "You lose."
(A) Lincoln. (B) T. Roosevelt. (C) Coolidge. (D) Kennedy.
Four U.S. presidents were shot and killed in office. Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded; What president was shot after he left office?
(A) U.S. Grant. (B) Grover Cleveland. (C) Teddy Roosevelt.
A portrait of which president is the most-reproduced piece of art in history?
(A) Washington. (B) Jefferson. (C) Lincoln. (D) F. D. Roosevelt.
Name the president who was father of 15 children:
(A) Jefferson. (B) Tyler. (C) McKinley. (D) Harding.
Name the president born on the Fourth of July:
(A) Grant. (B) Arthur. (C) Coolidge. (D) G. H. W. Bush.
Answers at the end of C&J. The whole quiz here---some are downright tough: http://www.freep.com/news/nw/prez21e_20050221.htm
Cheers and Jeers takes the oath of snark in the Extended Entry section... [Swoosh!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 21, 2005...
By the Numbers:
Days `til the Oscars: 6
Days `til St. Patrick's Day: 24
Days `til Spring: 27
Percent of February that's over: 75%
U.S. Troops killed last week: 20
Number of people who will lose food stamp benefits under Bush's budget: 300,000
Average speed of Jeff Gordon's car in the Daytona 500: 135.173 mph
Your Puppy Pic of the Day Days off---ain't they great? http://www.mattsfunhouse.com/gallery/animals/puppy_snooz. "Bartender...refresh my kibble daiquiri!"
CHEERS to President's Day. The day we celebrate the accomplishments of Martin Van Buren, Millard Fillmore, Benjamin Harrison, James Buchanan---and great deals on new Chevy Four-by-Fours!! Hail to the Chiefs...and the savings!!
JEERS to President's Day. What's it good for if ya gotta work?
CHEERS to Dubyaplomacy. God bless his little heart, he's a-tryin'. Bush is in Europe to urge leaders to "look beyond our differences" over the Iraq war and our snotty attitude toward them over the past 4 years. Chirac & Co. will be looking at something, alright: their watches.
JEERS to "justice." On February 21,1431 the English began the trial of Joan of Arc for witchcraft and heresy. I forget...did she sink or did she float?
JEERS to the Reefer President. Secret tapes reveal that George W. Bush smoked pot during his wild days, but didn't want to admit it because it might set a bad example for children: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2005/02/21/national/w050859S22.DTL. Unlike his chronic lying, going AWOL, insider trading, and authorizing torture. A fine role model, indeed.
CHEERS to letting your fingers do the walking. 127 years ago today, the first telephone book was issued by the District Telephone Co. of New Haven, Connecticut. It had 50 names. And 51 pizza coupons.
JEERS to High Hillary. Sounding like a true, um, Republican, she says that the 55 people killed in Iraq Friday by the insurgency is "an indication of their failure." I do believe the families of the victims would beg to differ.
JEERS to stupid Cupid tricks. A metallic Valentine's Day balloon with the words "I Love You" on it knocked out power to 2,100 Mishawaka, Indiana residents after it played kissy-face with a substation. But it gave `em a chance to have nookie while the TV and PC were down, so it's a wash.
CHEERS to Super Motor Boy. Jeff Gordon wins his third Daytona 500 and his 70th career win. Nice going, but---yawn---give someone else a turn at the wheel.
JEERS to the Rule of Threes. Over the weekend we lost Hunter S. Thompson (suicide), Sandra Dee (kidney disease), and John Raitt (pneumonia). And this morning every celebrity over 65 is secretly breathing a sigh of relief.
CHEERS to monumental achievements. On February 21, 1885, the Washington Monument was dedicated. It's shaped exactly like George's penis. Now you know why Martha never smiled.
JEERS to the Simpsons. Last night there was a disclaimer at the beginning (Due to content about same-sex marriage parental discretion is advised) because Patti was coming out of the closet and getting married to a player on the LPGA tour. Groening & Co. seemed just as uncomfortable with the subject as most of America, and they copped out at the end by revealing that Patti's fiancé was really a guy. For this I missed 30 minutes of the Weather Channel??
JEERS to the great spoiler. On February 21, 2000, Ralph Nader announced he was running for president. That certainly went well, don't you think?
CHEERS to the moderate wing of the wingnut party. Happy Birthday to Republican Senator (and fellow Mainer) Olympia Snowe---58 today. Our gift: a Shamee cloth to protect her from the buckets of flying froth coming from the dark side of the aisle (we understand she already wore out the one we gave her last week for Valentine's Day).
C&J Flashback: September 21, 2004...
JEERS to Dan's dive. CBS News just got their ass kicked by right-wing bloggers and Drudge over the Bush TANG memos. As Rather apologizes, American journalism says it's shocked...shocked!...by such sloppiness. But, um...where were you guys when the Kerry-hunting Swifty Vets were spraying lies like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant?
JEERS to the Wearer of the Pants. U.S. News & World Report hears that Hillary Clinton has forbidden her husband from campaigning this fall. She says it could hamper his recovery from heart surgery, but tinfoil-hat folks will say that she's trying to sabotage Kerry's chances in order to clear the way for her run in '08. That's crazy. Like a fox.
And just one more:
JEERS to budget cuts. Not even the Secret Service is immune from Bush's ax: http://www.verparacreer.net/imagen.php?f=1108854000&n=1. If you hear a faint "squeakysqueakysqueaky" outside your window late at night, find a good place to hide.
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Presidential Quiz answers: C, C, C (on the penny), B, C
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