My sweet and beautiful nephew whom I will call 'Tim,' died at age 2. He died in November of 1995 -- his feeding tube was removed by Tim's parents, 'Alice' and 'Bill,' in May of 1996.
Tim was born with a heart anomaly that was corrected by surgery shortly after he was born. For the three years that followed his surgery, he thrived. He had regular visits to the cardiologist which always led to a clean bill of health. It was shortly after such a visit that my sister-in-law, Alice, was called at work by her babysitter, to be told that Tim had collapsed on the floor of the playroom and was en route to the hospital. Alice's drive to the hospital was a tortured combination of fear, dread, regret and hope that she would arrive in time. Tim was alive when Alice arrived. But this was not to last.
It was true that Tim's heart had stopped beating and that they had been able to start it -- but only after the critical time period had passed that had left his brain without oxygen for too long. For a short time Tim regained real thinking consciousness; At the hospital Alice said that Tim's eyes met her's and Tim's with depth and love that assured them he was totally there. But the outcome was inevitable. When a brain does not receive circulating blood for that long it begins to swell and chokes the part of the brain that thinks. That was the last time Alice and Bill saw Tim alive. Tim's brain swelled and killed the part of him that made him Tim. According to the doctors, Tim was then in what is called a Persistent Vegetative State. No upper brain functions. Only life sustaining lower brain functions that kept his heart beating, his lungs breathing, his digestive system functioning. A working but soul-less body.
Alice and Bill's family from across the country arrived at the hospital in full force to support them. We came as quickly as we could, but by the time we arrived Tim had 'died.' When my husband and I were invited by Alice into Tim's room what we saw broke our hearts. He breathed. He opened his eyes. He was conscious. But he wasn't there. There was no focus to his gaze. There was no Tim.
Eventually Alice and her husband brought Tim home. This period with Tim at home bought Alice and Bill the time to say goodbye. Tim was fed through a tube in his stomach and wore diapers. Tim had died but there were still these strange and spooky fleeting reflexive movements: smiles, wandering gazes, blinking. (This is the type of behavior you see in the photos and film of Terri Schiavo.) All of this could give us hope if we allowed ourselves that. But after a while it was so obvious. Alice and Bill exercised his limbs to prevent the muscle atrophy and contorted positions and reflexive cramps that they couldn't bear to see inflict his body. They still desperately wanted to be told that there was something that could be done -- some way to bring Tim back. As the months passed they talked to every kind of medical and alternative-medical professional they could find. They even spoke to psychics and other fringe types because these people told them what they wanted to hear. But this was not the truth. After five months the finality of the situation was clear.
The body that had held Tim lived for five months. Alice and Bill removed the feeding tube in April; after intensive research, this was the method Alice and Bill found to be the most painless and humane way to let him go. On Mother's Day Tim's body died.
From what I have read about the Schiavo case, I believe that the medical condition of Terri Schiavo is the same as Tim's. I do understand prolonging the life of the body out of hope; this is what Alice and Bill did for five months. I could understand even longer. But after numerous second opinions and thousands or millions of dollars spent. After five years, or fifteen years?!
The publicity of the Schiavo case and the mock outrage taken by Tom Delay and others is an insult to Terry's husband and to any family that has gone through the anguish of this situation. To imply that there is some kind of therapy that can reverse the situation is insulting to the survivors. The despair of the circumstances when the vegetative state first occurs would lead anyone to seek any possible recovery. Don't they think Terri Schiavo's husband would have wanted Terri to live if there were any hope of a recovery? Don't they believe he would have already tried everything? I simply hate to think of what people like Alice and Bill think when they read about this. How heartbreaking.
And now for a brief political rant:
In Delay's case: one week he makes headlines for corruption and the next as someone so concerned with the sanctity of human life. The clearly political motivation is nauseating. And watching George Bush so concerned with saving a life after terminating so many in Texas' Death Row and in Iraq. It makes me want to scream. I really don't know how these !@#$%^&*-ers can go any lower.