Dear Mr. Editor:
I would like to direct your attention to a misprint.
On Tuesday, I read where that White House guy, Scott McClellan said Newsweek magazine had damaged the image of the United States abroad. Well now, I don't mean to speak out of school, but I think he must of said "damaged worse." It kind of don't make sense the other way.
He was probably just asking Newsweek to let things simmer down for a bit. You know, like "c'mon guys, hush up. I'm already in dutch with the wife!"
He had to feel sorry for them, after that whole "weapons of mass destruction" mix-up. Kinda like Geraldo Rivera and Al Capone's secret vault, remember that? Only there wasn't nothing in it like he said, and then he tried to pretend it wasn't like all "uh, oh" and "crap, now I look like a idiot on the TV."
Do you know if they have that at Blockbuster?
Anyway, that McClellan guy wasn't mad just cause of a mistake about some Arabs at Guantanamo Bay. I mean, to be fair and all, if we weren't so good at locking up crazy hindus or whatever, well there wouldn't be any Korans to drop in the hopper in the first place!
And Mr. McClellan? Well, you ask me, he looks like good people. No way he said it was Newsweek's fault about them riots. Heck, those people have been PO'd at us for as long as I can remember. Always burning something American, hopping around and yelling and hugging and kissing each other. Besides, it's not like any of our boys got hurt.
Wait, that reminds me. What the heckfire was going on at Abu Gharib? That was a little "fruity" if you get my meaning. I didn't look at the pictures. Somebody told me about them. But for goodness sake, the White House has got to be embarrassed about how that makes us look. We aren't French, after all!
Oh, and another thing, why does President Bush want Michael Bolton running the United Nations? I mean the missus sure loves him. She even went to one of his concerts. But between you and me, if what they say about him is true, well, isn't that kind of like making Hillary Clinton head of the Monica Lewinsky fan club?
Sorry, I got kind of side-tracked there for a minute. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know someone needs to fix that quote. I'm sure Mr. McClellan said "damaged worse."
Although, come to think of it, the rest of the world pretty much hates us already.
How can they hate us worse?