Never thought I'd say it, but I think I am. A visitor to this planet would conclude that we had conquered all human ills, to the extent that our government had nothing else to do, so they got bored and started mucking around in people's sex lives.
I had always learned that sex was supposed to be private, so you didn't much discuss it in polite company. So find myself wanting to laugh and cry watching the powers that be, at the behest of the Republican Taliban, struggle at to define the boundaries of appropriate sex. So that their version can be approved, be correct, and everyone else can be the Other. So Others can be denied. Birth control. Sex education. Abortion. Marriage equality.
In the Republican Taliban world, there are only heterosexuals, who learn only strict abstinence until marriage, where they get missionary-style once a month for procreation, and no birth control. Probably no masturbation, and forget about a female orgasm (do you think they even know about these?). They want to give this boring model Jesus' stamp of approval and shame everyone outside this model as sinners. They ignore the fact that there are as many different opinions and approaches to sexuality as there are illegal contributions in Tom DeLay's coffers.
Lucky for everyone, I'm here to provide a solution for Dobson and Frist. You guys will find it fun, too. Here's what we do:
First, everyone form groups. Yes, everyone. With your friends or church members or whoever else tends to agree with your particular approach to these sticky questions.
Now, talk amongst yourselves. Talk about whatever sex-related topic you can think of (this part will obviously be more fun for Kossians playing along at home than the fundies). Make sure you congratulate yourselves frequently how your approach to sex is the right or moral or most fun one (depending on your priorities) and how everyone else is doing it wrong (amount of self-congratulation needed will be inversely proportional to your conviction that you made the right choice).
Repeat until catharsis is reached the urge to butt in to anyone else's private business is gone.
Thank you for playing, and good night.