Man, they are everywhere. This thuggish ruggish rogue is about as heinous as they come:
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0522,hunter,64464,5.html
Fortunately for all of us, Middlebury College is on the job. Who knows what poor white woman might have been -- gasp! -- ogled or something had this kid not been kicked out of college immediately before graduation because he allegedly fell asleep on someone else's dorm room floor.
After all, we all know that kids who crash on other kids' dorm room floors (even if they steal absolutely nothing, assault or threaten absolutely nobody and look like at least three other possible sleepers from the college yearbook) are a danger to society. People who only get more dangerous if you let them do something as subversive as obtain a credential they worked only four years to get from a tony prep college. We all know where that leads - to uppity Black men who actually see themselves as equal to their peers. Clearly someone had do to something. And do it fast. After all, commencement was just around the corner.
Thank God, for Middlebury College in Vermont.
How dare this kid? How dare he be a great student, a great friend, a great source of pride to his family? How dare he believe that he could be the first person in his family to actually -- gasp! -- GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE? Surely, someone who cannot even tell his own dorm room floor in the dark is someone we do NOT want in our culture toting around a fancy resume. God forbid, we clearly can't tee up someone like this for LAW SCHOOL, where the young thug was hoping to end up after his highly successful undergraduate career.
Better to nip this type of uppity social climbing in the bud, before he has a chance to actually hurt someone with that hoped-for law degree. After all, we all know if a white man says that a Black man did something bad, he did it. If you don't believe me, just look at TV. It is clear that we as a nation have no need to waste any time on antiquated concepts such as burden of proof, benefit of the doubt, or just plain old common sense "are you really going to expel a senior from college on the eve of graduation for *sleeping on someone else's floor - which only one person says he did after saying that three other people might have been the person and that the sleeper had an accent our Thug-o-the-Week didn't possess?"
I honestly don't know what to do about my young brothers. I just don't. They are just.....lost. Clearly, it's all his single Christian mother's fault. If she'd raised him right, she'd at least have taught him how to distinguish between carpeted floors or, at a minimum, how to put on enough unique tattoos (if not gold teeth caps and a do rag) so that he could avoid being yet another winner in the "They All Look Alike" sweepstakes. Or, at a minimum, she'd have taught him the still-unhappy truth: just because some liberal foundation pays for you to spend your time in a fancy college because you're exceptional doesn't mean that other people don't know you're deep, down, still just a thug. From a broken home, at that.
(We now return you to your regularly scheduled anger at the Bush Administration.)