For those of you who are going to settle down and watch our fine President's address tonight, why not add a little excitement and play a (non-drinking, though you're welcome to drink on the side) game?
I'm sure everyone is familiar with the concept of fantasy football... you and friends take turns picking NFL players and if a player on your team scores a touchdown, you score a touchdown. Simple, right?
Why not apply it to W?
If you've got a few friends or roommates you'll have more fun than those of us who will be sitting at home on our couches watching alone, but its not really required. Take turns making up your "team" of 4 or 5 "key words" and 1 "bonus." Go around in a circle choosing a word off the list one by one, until everyone has their full team (team being, list of words, for those who can't follow at home)
Everytime Bush's speech uses a key word, you get one point. If he uses your BONUS word/phrase, you get 5 points. However, whether or not he says any of the bonus words is anybody's guess, so don't draft one high... hold off a bit.
Draw numbers out of a hat to determine the draft order. Alternatively, do it republican style and let the richest and whitest amongst all players choose first, and go on down the line. (your gay minority female atheist friend will unfortunately have to go last in this situation)
And without much ado, here's your list of selectable key words:
9/11
progress
freedom
liberty
troops
support
victory
democracy
front lines
war on terror
terrorist
terrorism (those last 3 are all seperate)
difficulties
Americans
sovereignty
just (as in, our cause is...)
children
peace
dick cheney [also acceptable if refered to as God]
national security
stand strong
stay the course
timetable
condoleeza
understanding
question
resolve
saddam
rumsfeld
britain [or some other allied nation]
france [or the rest of the world]
obstructionists
And here is your list of BONUS words/phrase. Remember, you can only pick one, but don't hold your breath on any of these:
"mission accomplished"
anything relating to needing a draft
"osama bin laden"
"last throes"
"I think about it every day"
"american soldiers will leave the country by [any specific date]"
anything admitting torture at gitmo
Even better!
You're allowed to change any rules you want! WOW! You won't find that kind of flexibility from the Christian right! Feel free to add or remove any words you want off the list, but for the sake of keeping it managable I'd outlaw words like "it" and "and" and "iraq."
For added fun, pick out witty team names for yourselves like "Taxachusettes Patriots" or "Team Man-On-Dog." Place wagers on the game like "everyone gives the winner 5 bucks" or "losers have to sit through an entire episode of 'the situation with tucker carlson.'"
Thus, we can have a little fun while listening to the same crap we've heard over, and over, and over again