So many things are going through my mind I cannot sleep yet. It is past midnight and I just got home. The bus ride home through the lighted city was filled with the memory of faces and smiles and tears at Andy Stephenson's memorial services...
I was simply stunned at all the love I witnessed and all the amazing people I met. As I sped along the freeway past the cars and the streetlights I could not help but chuckle that Andy, even on the way to surgery told the nurses and doctors to make sure they had voted and that it counted. Oh, and also make sure it was on a paper ballot. As I looked out the window at the city flying by, I laughed out loud again remembering his niece telling how he gathered all the people around him whom he loved to tell them that if he did not make it though surgery he wanted them to know how much he loved them all ~ and to make sure they got a paper ballot.
I immediately loved Andy's partner Ted. What a gentle beautiful man! When I thanked him for being generous enough with the love of his life to share Andy with so many others like me, he told me that he was destined to share the precious things he had with the world. He said he couldn't stop Andy if he had wanted to, because he knew that Andy would never be happy any other way. Wow. Anyone who is loved for who they are like Ted loved Andy is lucky. And we could all learn a few things about love from such a person...
I found out that you have not lived until you get bussed tenderly on the cheek by Will Pitt, our nation's newest Boston phenomena. Between you and me I do not think Will knows how his writing has set people on fire, people like me, an over-the-hill single mom without a thing in the world except myself to give to it. If Will is right about one thing it is as he said, that Andy proved one person can make a huge difference in the world. Will does not think that Andy's magic touch applies to him as well, but I knew he had what Andy had the first day I read his wonderful writing. The last thing Will said before we parted tonight was no one and nothing could stop him from writing now. As he walked away with some other friends whistling and laughing, I could not help but think: What a gift this will be to the world!
I suspect Will got some of that determination from Andy's bouyant example of never giving up even if you are dying. I think every single person at that funeral knows now they have a job to do. We now have a purpose so there is no more making excuses not to do something about our passions. We need to take Andy's example and run with it. Even if we hit a brick wall, we just need to get back up and go on.
There was a picture they displayed of Andy wearing a tinfoil hat. The silly expression that looked out practically shouted what Andy knew and many of us also know. The unspoken "joke" was if there was anyone who should be wearing that hat, it sure wasn't Andy. That hat should be donned by those dour suits sitting on TV pretending our vote counts, that the machines are perfect and that the two companies making them have good intentions. They do not. Over and over credible people said their findings just did not jive after Andy badgered, conjoled and begged them to just take a look. Such as the statistician relating at his funeral she found that some of the election outcomes in New Hampshire were just so "coincidental" it was more than a billion to one the outcome should have been that way. Like the fired elections board director who told me about the two felons hired by our government to count our votes. BTW, she is now facing a jail sentence since our beloved government cannot just let a person get away who tells the truth, they have to pound them into the ground and make sure they are utterly destroyed. She worked with felons hired by the very people who guarded our votes. Felons like the one who had spent 6 years in prison for hacking and embezzlement. It is downright scary and and it is happening all over this country. Every little bit helps, even a picture, never forget that.
I am also thinking about the Democratic Underground. I have been a lurker to KOS for a long time because I liked his style. He is like so many of the progressives I know and some of the new friends I met at Andy's funeral. Intelligent, funny, not willing to take things at face value, and most of all he honors free expression as long as it entails repect for others. I like that a lot.
I left DU three years ago because, while I verymuch respect the way someone wants to run their forum, I felt that I could not be where opinion is dangerous if you were not necessarily in sync, so I bowed out. I heard tonight I was a denizen of the Night Of Daggers....and daggers it was for me because I missed everyone and it was a stab in the heart not to be around those people anymore. No wonder Andy thought of them as family. They are family. They came from all corners of the nation to tell Andy good-bye and let his loved ones know how much he had impacted them. They came to grieve and to laugh together because they were drawn by Andy even in his permanent absence, he had moved them so deeply. I came for the same reason. I am glad I did and I hope to "see" some of those wonderful, smart, talented, caring people online because I am going back to DU. So I can continue with them where Andy left off. Those hugs will echo in my heart and I hope to pass them on. I will be here too because I can proudly say I am a news junkie, like so many Kossacks and Du-ers.
Also Progressive do not just talk the talk, they walk the walk. In just 11 days people all over the nation raised enough money to send Andy to surgery because Andy had no health insurance. He was a walking example of the dire need for health care in this country and all the issues around it. I think if any one of us here on Kos had the issues Andy had, we would be there to show our nation what it should be, a community for the people and BY the people.
So here's to you, Andy. You inspired me. You made me laugh. You made me think deeply about our democratic process and how important it is to trust it. You told me once you had a message to give and you did not care what side citizens are on, Democrat, Republican, Green, conservative, liberal or whatever and you are right, this is mandatory! You helped me understand I could never trust a democracy unless I knew with a certainty my vote and all my neighbor's votes counted. We all had to know we had a voice, this was essential. And now I will give to those I love what you gave to so many people, myself included. I promise.
Love
Cat Sullivan
Cat In Seattle