Up in the recommendeds there has been a
spirited songfest of new lyrics to "Deep in the Heart of Texas" and "Yellow Rose of Texas". And it's been some great stuff, too.
But like any revolution, we need more songs: Songs to sing in the trenches; songs to sing in jail; songs to sing when we're down and out. So...
Here's my opening salvo of tunage, with the hope that the rest you (who have shown SO much talent in the "Texas" thead will add to the upcoming "DKos' Greatest Hits" (or some such title).
BTW, this is my first diary (except for an item I wrote that my wife posted for me a while back) so be kind.
Remember (back in the 60's) a little ditty called "Plastic Jesus (Ridin' on the Dashboard of My Car)? It's well known in the folk tradition and no one can claim to be a folkie without having added a verse or two to it. Here's my version, based on...um...current events.
Magnetic Ribbons
(To the tune of Plastic Jesus, and no less irreverent)
(written largely while sitting on the john)
I don't care `bout his lies or fibbin'
I've got my magnetic ribbon
Stuck upon the fender of my car.
I show support for our armed forces
With my new four hundred horses
Proving I'm a patriotic star.
[Chorus 1]
Magnetic ribbons, star spangled ribbons
On the fender of my SUV
I know that there is nothing fyna
Than patriotism made in China
Bought at Wal-Mart for $1.83
My bumper stickers say to you
That I support red white and blue
America's the only place God blesses
And I know that you are a traitor
You love Saddam and Darth Vader
And women in the White House with blue dresses.
[chorus 2]
Magnetic ribbons, yellow ribbons.
On the fender of my GMC
Though casualties they are a bummer
I need this magnet on my Hummer
To show what Halliburton means to me.
When I watch the news at night
To hear of our Iraqi fight
I only tune to what they show on Fox.
This way I know we are winning.
There's no torture, there's no sinning
Though my nephew's come home in a box.
[Chorus 3]
Magnetic ribbons, yellow ribbons
On the fender of my SUV
I'll support our troops so fine
Who put their asses on the line
As long as the one dyin' isn't me.
Roarin' down the interstate
So my rug rats won't be late
To Little League, to soccer or to class,
My ribbon shows that I've supported
Who Barbara Bush should have aborted
So I can buy another tank of gas.
[chorus 4]
Magnetic ribbons, star spangled ribbons
On the fender of my SUV
Even though it's kind of faded
My mind likes to be sedated
By the lies Dick Cheney tells to me.
When we start the next crusade
And some more-distant lands invade
With magnets from throughout the righteous right,
I'll show that we know how to fight to
Support God and the Christian right to
Magnetize any country that's not white.
[chorus 5]
Magnetic ribbons, yellow ribbons
There are dozens on my GMC
They show that I'm a patri-utt
Not just some liberal weenie slut
Who asks permission to go overseas.
So put your ribbons everywhere
And show the world how much you care
And show support for our unending war
Then you can be a hypocrite
Who really does not give a shit
But wants the gas that Dubya fighting for.
[chorus 6]
Magnetic ribbons, yellow ribbons
On your car for all the world to see
Display those ribbons day and night
And show your proud magnetic right
To be a wingnut asshole just like me!
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OK, tunesmiths. Your turn!