I don't know about you, but I have had one vacation in about eight years that I didn't interrupt or reschedule because of work. Now, I'm self-employed, so it's harder for me to plan months ahead for some free time. Invariably, whatever time I planned for the family get-away bumps right into some big project that I simply can't set aside for a week. So I bring my laptop with me, get up at 5 am and work for 6 or 7 hours each day. I get the job done and send off the file and guess what? Mission accomplished - on deadline and on budget.
Does it suck to have to work on vacation? Of course! In some ways, it's even harder than not going away at all, because I feel torn between the work I have committed to finish and my more important commitment to my wife. But I do what I have to do. And I'm just a freaking self-employed dude whose responsibilities include my wife, my four dogs, a horse and a cat!
Surely Bush, our fearless leader, whose responsibilities extend to hundreds of millions of people, trillions of dollars, and who has the fate of the very fucking planet bound up into his destiny, would make my work ethic look puny by comparison. He must have commitment in spades, right? Probably to the tenth or even one hundredth degree. I mean, if I take my own miniscule responsibilities so seriously, Bush must attack his duties with a zeal that is truly awe-inspiring, right?
Ah, not quite.
So what in the fucking world is it going to take for this imbecile to figure maybe he ought cut his vacation short and get back to work? A hellish war of choice that spirals daily into an absolute worst-case scenario? Nope. The biggest hurricane to hit the U.S. in recorded history? Guess again. Oil prices spiking into record territory day after day? Nice try.
Just what catastrophe, what disaster, what end-of-the-world, cats-and-dogs-living-together kind of doomsday scenario would motivate this moron to get his worthless ass back into the office and get some goddamn work done? I don't care how many miles he pedals on his goddamn bike and I don't care what kind of shape he's in. I don't want him to get on with his life. I want him working harder than he has ever worked before. I want to see him work so hard he ages twenty years by 2008. I don't care if he doesn't get a day off until then - actually, I'd prefer if he didn't. Granted, while the only thing worse than Bush AWOL from the White House might be him actually reporting for duty, I want that son of a bitch in the Oval Office every goddamn day and night, working his heart out - or what passes for it.
I mean, come on! Can any of you even imagine conducting your own life, your own work or your own business in the way our President does? Could you take off time in the middle of the most important job you will ever do? And if the job goes badly, could you lie, cheat, blame others for your own failings, and fire those around you for showing signs of honesty and integrity while promoting only the most obsequies toadies; could you do all those things and actually look yourself in the mirror each morning? Could you talk to your co-workers, spouse or your child without your own self-disgust showing on your face? Could you even for an instance take stock of what you had become and feel any sense of pride, or accomplishment, or worth?
Now I'm certainly not perfect, but I know right from wrong. When I make a mistake, or deceive myself or others, I try to own up to it and make amends. And I tell myself that I'll try to do better next time.
But it takes a real monster to completely give in to the darkest urges - to all that is evil and self-serving and dishonest. And that, my friends, is George Bush in a nutshell. So I guess that it's no real surprise that Georgie's greatest accomplishment is to elevate the vacation to an art form. But I've got news for you George. You're never going to be able to take a vacation that's far enough, or long enough, to get away from the thing that has really got you so riled up inside. Because you know what they say about traveling, "Wherever you go, there you are."
Have a nice trip.