FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
As Chief Executive and President of the National Institutes of the Obvious, it is my solemn duty to highlight, without hesitation - or shame - what should already be apparent to the American Public.
After much careful deliberation, it is with a heavy heart that I correct a series of errors of omission by the Institutes of the Obvious. Unlike our current administration, we at the Institutes feel it is imperative upon us to face up to our mistakes and to correct them as soon as possible.
Therefore, before anyone else gets hurt in a needless war, by needless fiscal irresponsibility, or God forbid, another botched response to a natural disaster, I hereby declare the Bush Presidency a Disaster Area.
there's more below the fold (obviously)
While local officers of the Institutes, at both the state and city level, have certainly failed to prepare for the inevitable disasters that would result from a Bush Presidency, I feel we at the national office must take ultimate responsibility.
Study after study, by a variety of organizations representing all branches of reality, predicted dire consequences from a category 5 fool in the White House. Detailed computer models predicted 20 foot walls of bullshit drowning and suffocating honest debate. Detailed satellite images 48 weeks prior to November 2000 clearly showed gusts of hot air and outright lies in excess of 150 miles per hour, capable of felling all but the sturdiest and time-tested of American priorities. There was also something about locusts and four nasty guys on horseback, galloping before a sea of onrushing blood, heads on pikes, yada yada yada, but honestly, by then the computers at the Institutes were downright hysterical, so, take that with a grain of salt. Then again, really, at this point, the predictions have been uncanny.
Please get this message out to the appropriate local officials and voters. We would do it ourselves, but our budget has been cut severely, and the President's office has mandated that I hire some guy to follow me around called "Boy Genius" who at this very moment telling me what to do (and telling me not to post this message). Furthermore, I hear that the Institutes of the Obvious are slated to be absorbed by the campaign office of Rick Santorum.
Respectfully,
Dr. Linus Sacks, Professor
National Institutes of the Obvious
http://nationalinstitutes.blogspot.com/