The presents are opened, the leftovers are running low, it is now time to turn our attention to the new year. An air of reflection and resolve permeate the air and it is time to take pen in hand and write down what we would like to do better. The approaching new year helps us put our activities into perspective and many of us find our branches need pruning.
We all know our republican "bretheren" are not an inherently introspective lot. They prefer to damn the torpedos, come what may. Unfortunatly, this year that attitude is putting our nation in serious constitutional jeopardy. In the spirit of bipartisan cooperation I have put pen to paper and put together a list of :
REPUBLICAN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS. This is by no means an exhaustive list so feel free to add your own.
- I resolve to stop using fake outrage to divide Americans for political gain.
- I resolve to stop spouting religious ideals only when it suits my cause, and then abandoning those same ideals when inconvenient.
- I pledge to quit pretending that outrageous assaults on our constitution are legal, justified, and part of the normal scope of politics.
- I promise not to insult the intelligence of the American people by claiming black is white, white is black, and up is down, all with a straight face.
- I resolve not to pretend that having more that a few members of congress under investigation and/or indicted is no big deal, and to stop using the lame excuse "Democrats do it too".
- I resolve to put country before party.
- I promise to stop rendition and claim it is legal.
- I reslove to adopt procedures for Gitmo.
- I resolve to stop illegally spying on American Citizens.
- I resolve to get to the bottom of the V. Plame affair.
- I resolve to make ethics a priortity in congress and to punish members found in contempt (even if it's a Repub.)
- I reslove to take the indictment of members of congress seriously which means I need to stow the flowers, love letters, and butterfly kisses upon knowlege of wrongdoing.
- I resove to produce a workable Iraq stategy beyond platitudes, with targeted benchmarks and honesty.
- I reslove to stop campaigning and start governing.
- I resolve to stop giving speeches to Americans (and the world) which are filled with half truths and bald face lies.
- I resolve to open the front door of my bubble and let 1 hr. of fresh air in per day.
- I resolve to stop comparing our greatest failures (Choose one of many for past 5 yrs.) to some of Americas greatest achievements ( Am. rev. or WWII).
- I resolve to stop questioning the patriotism of any person that uses his/her constitutionally guaranteed right to free speech.
- I resolve to stop driving the ship of state like it was the titanic and to avoid the icebergs DEAD AHEAD.
- I resolve to stop replacing smart career Govt. officials with incompetent morons.
- I pledge to end the practice of blacking out the conclusions of any legitimate study that I disagree with and substituting my own politically motivated interpretations.
- I resolve to restore scientific finding as fact and to repeal politicized science masquerading as fact that currently drives policy.
- I resolve to listen to alternative viewpoints to help bring consensus back into governing.
- I resolve to stop destructive enviornmental policies such as abusive stip mining, clear cutting, poisioning, and generally polluting our natural environment for the sole benefit of multinational corporations. (I further pledge to keep in mind this benefits our children and grandchildren (which I claim to care about)).
- I also resolve to not burden said children and grandchildren with unsusatainable deficits that can plunge our economy into chaos.
- I resolve to stop the looting of our national treasury with unlimited no-bid contracts to undeserving corporations.
- I further resolve to undertake real oversight of corporations that are granted Govt. contracts so as not to loose track of billions of dollars of taxpayer money.
- I also resolve to keep closer tabs on the defense department budget so as not to loose that money down a suspicious black hole and turn it in to a slush fund for illegal activity.
- I resolve to stop the practice of firing, ruining, threatening, anyone and everyone that disagrees with me in any organization including my own Govt., the press, and average citizens.
- I resolve to stop dividing the country with wedge issues that tap into the basest human emotions, and instead choose issues that unify the country.
- I resolve to stop the illegal activity and bribery by lobbyists in return for legislative favors.
- I resolve to stop lying, cheating, and stealing my way into power, and then abusing that power once attained.
- I resolve to stop intimidating the "free" press so that they can fulfill their duty to their readers and be the watchdog they once were.
- I also resolve to stop the schmoozing with big wig reporters and granting them privliged access in return for favorable stories. (I guess I should also stop paying them to write favorable stories as well (foreign and domestic)).
- I pledge to rebuild the trust and good relations we had enjoyed with our allies by respecting their opinions, and treating them as the good neighbors that they are.
- and finally.... I pledge to re-read the declaration of independence, and the constitution of the United states in the original handwriting of Thomas Jefferson. In the declaration one can feel the determination of our founders to throw off the yoke of tyranny and strive for a more perfect union. I pledge to compare each grievance listed in the body of the declaration and compare it to current behavior and eliminate it. I pledge to treat the constitution as the sacred document that it is, to realize it has guided us faithfully all these years and to understand that it is our road map back to our more perfect union sought and died for at our inception. I pledge to keep its true spirit alive by rededicating myself to upholding it.
The floor is now open.