Somebody doesn't want Howard Dean to be the Democratic nominee for president. And we're told it's the "smart" Democrats, the "big picture" Democrats, the ones who know how to win elections. (Um, weren't these the same folks calling the shots back in 2000 and 2002?) We've been told that Karl Rove has been licking his chops at the notion of running against Dean. "Rove's dream Democrat," Dean is "George McGovern all over again" -- a fringy candidate who will alienate the mainstream. And maybe that's even true. Still I can't help but feel distrustful when the loudest voices mocking Dean are coming from the right - along with the self-same Democratic leadership who lost us the last two elections. No, to this cynic's ears it all rings a bit of the ol' reverse-psychology Brer Rabbit ploy. "Please don't throw me into that briar patch. The last thing I want is to go into that Briar Patch." Bush is much more frightened of the formidable John Kerry, we've been told. He's Karl Rove's briar patch. "We sure don't want to run against him." And who can fault their alarm? Mondale-like in his charisma, Kerry's the man to stand out in debate against Bush - unless they're in front of a wall of oatmeal. If the Democratic leadership could have found someone more death-like (who wasn't actually deceased) I'm sure we'd have a different front-runner right now. But John Kerry is our Abraham Lincoln, tall and somber (and lifeless) and presidential. Most importantly he's not Dean. God forbid we should create any excitement, mobilize the party's base, or say anything rude like "I'm against war." Kerry would make the ideal team captain for the Washington Generals -- that hapless team the Harlem Globetrotters played, whose job it was to lose. Good thing we're not giving Karl Rove what he wanted.