Vice magazineis one of the most hateful publications on the planet. It's written by and for young hipsters, and its tone--highly cynical and anti-p.c.--while somewhat extreme, gives a nice window into the minds of some of our young folks.
I like Vice and I don't like Vice. They do this one dos-and-don'ts-type feature, in which they mercilessly mock people's fashion choices. Some of their captions are laugh-out-loud funny, while others are just play offensive.
This month, the theme of the magazine is hatred of all things boomer. It's called "We Hate YOur Parents Too." As usual it's wicked, mean and often very funny.
Almost everyone on this site will likely find something very offensive in the article so if you avoid hateful language like the plague, don't read this diary or click on the links to the mag.
I figured it might be good to post some
excerpts of one of the articles here because in some ways, it reflects some of the conflicts we have here, which I think are often generational at their root. As cool as boomers may think they are, young people are doing want young people have done for generations before them: rebelling against the grown-ups and all they stand for.
Now that may suck for boomers who feel they were the true "greatest generation," but whatever, time waits for no one, and it won't wait even for boomers. In other words, people shouldn't take it so hard when kids carp about hippies. They're just being kids for gawds sake!
Here's the list of why Vice hates boomers. It's ridiculously long (there seems to be no end to their anger) so I edited it down and left many of the reasons out, in part cause some were just too vile. If you want to read them in all their glory, plus see the images they used along with the article, click on the link above.
I see this one happen a lot on this site:
They make it Personal. Have you ever argued with one of these fucking guys? They never read or do any research of their own (fiction is their bag when it comes to books) so when you argue with them all they can say about your research is, "I've never heard that. Where do you get your data from?" If you prove it they will say, "I can find just as many sources that say the opposite. Statistics are easily manipulated, you know," or they'll mention some stupid anecdote about a woman who gave birth at 80 years of age or a Zulu tribesman who solved a puzzle. Fuck off.
There could be some truth to this:
Diversity is other people's strength. For people who bandy around the "racist" moniker so much they sure do live in some lily-white parts of town. Sure Clinton likes to go to his office in Harlem with armed bodyguards to pick up his mail occasionally, but if you ever see a black person near his house in the posh white suburbs of Chappaqua, ring the alarm.
I think this is my favorite one because it's so damn true:
They hate rap. Rappers talk about drugs without using "white rabbit" metaphors and talk about fucking without using Sam Cooke smoke and mirrors (meanwhile, he and Marvin Gaye were way bigger pussy hounds than 50 Cent will ever be) and the boomers simply ain't havin' it. If Tipper Gore had her way, every time a black person said something besides "yes ma'am," they'd get no white chicks for a week.
I don't think anyone here would disagree with this:
The New York Times.This "family paper" is just a bunch of sheltered, rich assholes living in the middle of nowhere and telling other sheltered, rich assholes what's probably going on in the city. We'd get into it more but it's all in Bill McGowan's new book Gray Lady Down.
I'll admit, I never got the obsession over cameras:
Big brother. Even though they don't live anywhere near here, boomers hate that there are cameras on city streets and phone calls are occasionally recorded. Guess what, suburbanites, we like cameras on the street. That's how we got Rudy Fleming. If someone wants to record my phone calls, go bananas. The only time I do anything illegal is when it's in a bathroom or in my home and there're no cameras there so fuck it.
Apparently the young'ns are sort of prudes:
Infidelity. They started that whole "free love" thing because the men were really horny and wanted to put their dinks in everything. Then, for some reason, they got married--but they wanted to fuck more so they invented wife swapping and swinging. Or they just cheated. When you're rich, spoiled, and horny, cheating isn't even a question. It's just what you do.
And they're still not over the d-i-v-o-r-c-e:
Divorce.Why do people need to get divorced anyway? "Because we've grown apart." What the fuck does that mean? Maybe it's time my brother and I realized we've grown apart and we get a brother divorce. I'm going to tell my grandma that I need to see other grandmas for a while because I need my freedom.
To be honest, I don't even get this one, but it was one of the few that wouldn't offend a good chunk of people on this site:
Postmodern critical theory. What the fuck do they teach in college these days anyway? Education used to be about science and math and, if you were feeling really artsy, maybe English. Then the boomers got into Marx and Che and being a fucking loser and now it's all about new math and critical theory, which is really all about making up a fancy new language that makes everyone who didn't go to college feel dumb.
Ha-ha, the Segway. Bush fell off of one of those:
Today's future is crap-based. Boomer culture is all about making things faster, cheaper, and more disposable than last week. All they ever invented was a podium for paralyzed millionaires called the Segway and a bunch of $60,000 one-man flying machines. Guess who those inventions are for.
This is actually very incisive and one reason young people do have to be pissed off:
Newsweek. Goddamnit. Pick up the past few issues of Newsweek and all they want to talk about is transplants and Alzheimer's and how to cure hearing loss and "Do we have the technology to extend life?" It used to talk about news occasionally but now you feel like you're reading a trade magazine for geriatric medicine. Can't these people just die? It's not like any of this "care" makes a difference. According to Health Care Matters, "a 10 percent increase in pharmaceutical consumption would increase a 60-year-old's unadjusted life expectancy by about 0.6 percent." That means approximately 160 more days of crawling around the living room in a cardigan trying to figure out how to record Matlock. Is it possible we could get some news about outsourcing or the lack of jobs or China's military threat, please? Our ears and eyes work just fine.
And that's about all I thought were safe for this site. They're a hateful bunch, that is for sure, but if it's any consolation, as much as hipsters hate boomers, they hate themselves even more!