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(Scene: a minimalist stage set that looks like your den, only minimalist.)

ESTRAGON:  Let's go.

VLADIMIR: We can't.

ESTRAGON: Why not?

VLADIMIR:  We're waiting for Fitzgerot.

ESTRAGON: (despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You're sure it was here?

VLADIMIR: What?

ESTRAGON: That we were to hear about the indictments.

VLADIMIR: He said it would be in Washington.

ESTRAGON: Is this Washington? It looks like Muncie.

VLADIMIR: What are you insinuating? That we've come to the wrong place?

ESTRAGON: Fitzgerot should be here.

VLADIMIR: He didn't say for sure that the grand jury'd hand anything down today.

ESTRAGON: And if they don't hand them down today?

VLADIMIR: We'll wait here tomorrow.

 

ESTRAGON: And then the day after tomorrow.

ESTRAGON: We waited here yesterday.

VLADIMIR: And the day before that.

ESTRAGON: What did we do yesterday?

VLADIMIR: What did we do yesterday? Same as the day before. Waiting for Fitzgerot, picking over every article and blog post, trying to read between the lines that "indictments are now inevitable," trying to tease out evidence that indictments will definitely be handed down and that we're not just a couple of clowns in an existentialist farce that has no cathartic moment, no conclusion...

ESTRAGON: Oh, God!

VLADIMIR: All the same...that Raw Story article...

ESTRAGON: You're sure it was today?

VLADIMIR: What?

ESTRAGON: That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR: He said Wednesday. (Pause.) I think.

ESTRAGON: You think.

VLADIMIR: I must have made a note of it. (He fumbles in his pockets, bursting with miscellaneous rubbish.)

ESTRAGON: (very insidious). But what Wednesday? And is it Wednesday? Is it not rather Thursday? (Pause.) Or Monday? (Pause.) Or Friday?

VLADIMIR: (looking wildly about him, as though the date was inscribed in the landscape). What'll we do?

ESTRAGON: If he came yesterday and we weren't here you may be sure he won't come again today.

VLADIMIR: But you say we were here yesterday.

ESTRAGON: Yesterday...now I remember it. I had a dream.

VLADIMIR: Don't tell me!

ESTRAGON: I dreamt that--

VLADIMIR: DON'T TELL ME!

ESTRAGON: It's not nice of you, Didi. Who am I to tell my dreams to if I can't tell them to you?

VLADIMIR: Oh, all right. Tell me your precious dream.

ESTRAGON: (Portentously.) I dreamed...that Karl Rove and Scooter Libby were indicted!

VLADIMIR: Eh...so what. Everybody has had that dream. I'VE had that dream. A recurring dream.

ESTRAGON: No, but, there was more, Didi. Much more. I dreamed that John Bolton was indicted too, and had to step down as Ambassador to the U.N.! Bolton, Didi!

VLADIMIR: All right, so you dreamed John Bolton was indicted.

ESTRAGON: Yes...I remember seeing him in handcuffs.

VLADIMIR: Ah, stop it! A lot of people have seen him in handcuffs, I'll bet. Everybody knows he's into all that kinky stuff. That doesn't mean he'll be indicted.

ESTRAGON: And then...and then...I dreamed that Steven Hadley and Mary Matalin were indicted, too. Hadley, Didi!

VLADIMIR: Hadley, eh, that's something, anyway. The National Security Advisor! Matalin, ptui. Who else?

ESTRAGON: (A pause.) Cheney.

VLADIMIR: STOP IT!

ESTRAGON: Vladimir, I tell you. I saw Cheney being frog-marched in my dream! It was clear as day. His lip was curled in a cold sneer the way you always see him in those photos. It was horrible, horrible.

VLADIMIR: Stop it now, Gogo. This is 'way too Grand Guignol, even for this investigation. I'll settle for Rove and Libby....and Bolton. And...Hadley. Sure. But don't even think about Cheney. He's bad luck.

ESTRAGON: I say there's an even chance. Or nearly.

VLADIMIR: Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.

ESTRAGON: It's not how I feel, it's what's will be. Sometime. Sooner or later. Maybe.

VLADIMIR: Well? But what do we do in the meantime?

ESTRAGON: Don't let's do anything except read blog posts. It's safer.

VLADIMIR: Let's wait and see what Fitzgerot says.

ESTRAGON: Who?

VLADIMIR: Fitzgerot.

ESTRAGON: Good idea.

VLADIMIR: Let's wait till we know exactly how things stand.

ESTRAGON: Good idea.

VLADIMIR: Good, then that settles it.

ESTRAGON: Well, then, let's go.

VLADIMIR: We can't.

ESTRAGON: Why not?

VLADIMIR:  We're waiting for Fitzgerot.

ESTRAGON: (despairingly). Ah!

Originally posted to revbludge on Thu Oct 20, 2005 at 06:45 AM PDT.

Poll

What is your recurring dream?

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Comment Preferences

  •  Something to look at while you're waiting (4.00)
    for Fitzgerot.

    Hours of fun!

  •  My recurring nightmare (4.00)
    is that we will be stuck in this time loop forever.
  •  You forgot: (none)
    POZZO:
    Stop! (Lucky stops.) Back! (Lucky moves back.) Stop! (Lucky stops.) Turn! (Lucky turns towards auditorium.) Think!

    During Lucky Georgie's tirade the others react as follows.

    1. Vladimir and Estragon all attention, Pozzo dejected and disgusted.
    2. Vladimir and Estragon begin to protest, Pozzo's sufferings increase.
    3. Vladimir and Estragon attentive again, Pozzo more and more agitated and groaning.
    4. Vladimir and Estragon protest violently. Pozzo jumps up, pulls on the rope. General outcry. Lucky Georgie pulls on the rope, staggers, shouts his text. All three throw themselves on Lucky Georgie who struggles and shouts his text.
    LUCKY:
    Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Strauss and Friedman of a personal Me quaquaquaqua with white power quaquaquaqua outside time without extension who from the heights of divine apathia divine athambia divine aphasia loves his lackies dearly with some exceptions for reasons unknown but time will tell and suffers like the divine Harriet with those who for reasons unknown but time will tell are plunged in torment plunged in fire whose fire flames if that continues and who can doubt it will fire the firmament that is to say blast hell to heaven so blue still and calm so calm with a calm which even though intermittent is better than nothing but not so fast and considering what is more that as a result of the labors left unfinished crowned by the Acacacacademy of Anthropopopometry of Essy-in-Possy of Wolfowitz and Condi it is established beyond all doubt all other doubt than that which clings to the labors of men that as a result of the labors unfinished of Rummy and Condi it is established as hereinafter but not so fast for reasons unknown that as a result of the public works of Cheney and Scooter it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of papa and Dutch left unfinished for reasons unknown of Powell and Condi left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in DC of Rummy and Cheney that man in DC that man in short that man in brief in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation wastes and pines wastes and pines and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the strides of physical culture the practice of sports such as tennis football running cycling swimming flying floating riding gliding conating camogie skating tennis of all kinds dying flying sports of all sorts autumn summer winter winter tennis of all kinds hockey of all sorts penicillin and succedanea in a word I resume flying gliding golf over nine and eighteen holes tennis of all sorts in a word for reasons unknown in Dickham Karlham Paulham Condiham namely concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown but time will tell fades away I resume Harriet Miers in a word the dead loss per head since the death of Leo Strauss being to the tune of one inch four ounce per head approximately by and large more or less to the nearest decimal good measure round figures stark naked in the stockinged feet in the White Hose in a word for reasons unknown no matter what matter the facts are there and considering what is more much more grave that in the light of the labors lost of Newt and Trent it appears what is more much more grave that in the light the light the light of the labors lost of Dutch and pops that in the plains in the mountains by the seas by the rivers running water running fire the air is the same and then the earth namely the air and then the earth in the great cold the great dark the air and the earth abode of stones in the great cold alas alas in the year of their Lord six hundred and something the air the earth the sea the earth abode of stones in the great deeps the great cold on sea on land and in the air I resume for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis the facts are there but time will tell I resume alas alas on on in short in fine on on abode of stones who can doubt it I resume but not so fast I resume the skull fading fading fading and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis on on the beard the flames the tears the stones so blue so calm alas alas on on the skull the skull the bones the skull in the White House in spite of the tennis the labors abandoned left unfinished graver still abode of stones in a word I resume alas alas abandoned unfinished the skull and bones in the White Hose in spite of the tennis the skull alas the stones Condi (mêlée, final vociferations)
  •  Other: (4.00)
    Cheney hauled off to prison, where the Geneva Convention standards are strictly, strictly enforced and the medical care sufficiently good to keep him healthy for decades while he serves as a poster boy for what happens to treasonous criminals when they finally get caught.

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