As we await Fitzmas, obsess about Miers, and curse the war, it can be healthy to look at the lighter side of politics. And where better to do that than in the great state of Texas
Kinky Friedman, mystery novelist and lead singer for the "Texas Jewboys," is running as an independent for governor of Texas. His classic populist campaign has been compared to that of Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura. In fact, Friedman's campaign manager, Dean Barkley, used to work for Ventura. And some think Friedman can actually win. The Wall Street Journal has him at 18% against incumbent Perry with 40.1% and Democrat Chris Bell at 27.2.% Here's the link; click on Texas. That may not seem impressive until you consider that Kinky has just starting to build a campaign while his opponents have major resources. And he has said the 50,000 people who have registered as volunteers on his Web site are serious.
Want to see just how serious he is? Watch his cartoon campaign ad.
More below the jump.
Among his observations and promises are:
"A fool and his money are soon elected. "
"The career politicians are keeping the elevator at the penthouse floor and not sending it down for the rest of us."
"If you elect me, I'll be the first Governor in Texas history with a listed phone number."
"I'm a Jew, I'll hire good people."
And "Why the hell not?"
Fundraising is always a big issue for an independent. But Kinky has a plan. It's based on a talking doll -- I mean "action figure." Among its 25 phrases is "Friedman is just another word for nothing left to lose." From his web site :
It's time to start the real action! As we prepare to battle the millions of bucks the parties are going to throw at us, we need a hero, and here he is. The 'Kinky Friedman Talking Action Figure' is all we need to combat the dark forces! It looks like Kinky, it talks like Kinky, it IS Kinky - our hero! It has Kinky's actual voice, spouting the mots and witticisms for which he is so known and loved. And, of course, he is adorable.
Yes, well, on to his platforms. His issues page, entitled "Why not Kinky?" offers these policy overviews:
On education:
A Texas revolution is needed in our school systems. "No teacher left behind" - Kinky Friedman
Texas is #1 in drop out rates and #48 in education spending. Our children deserve so much more. Texas is also 48th in per capita child protection expenditures, as well as 49th in general, 46th in mental health, 45th in public health, 49th in state arts agency, 44th in highway, and 49th in water quality expenditures. The Austin American-Statesman is correct: "It's Texas vs. Mississippi in a race to the bottom."
On energy:
NEW ENERGY: Kinky To Make Texas #1 Again
For decades, Texas was #1 in US oil and gas exploration. It once even led the world! Texas can reclaim its role as world leader in new energy production with alternative solutions. Kinky is our `energizer' candidate.
Bio-diesel fuel powers Willie Nelson's famous bus, the Honeysuckle Rose. Bio-diesel, eco-friendly and produced from agricultural products - even reclaimed frying grease - is a first step in the right direction. Willie will work with Kinky in promoting and developing bio-diesel and all of Texas' vast, untapped, environmentally friendly resources. Currently, we're using this fuel source for landfill. Surely, pulling a rutabaga out of the ground is more cost-effective than drilling a two-mile-deep hole in the sand. "How hard could it be?" - Kinky Friedman.
On other major issues:
· Criminal Justice System Reform "Two thousand years ago an innocent man named Jesus Christ, was executed; Kinky's question is: "What have we learned in two thousand years?""
· Creating a Texas Peace Corps - "Never say fuck in front of a c-h-i-l-d." - Kinky Friedman
· Abolishing Political Correctness - "A man oughtta be able to light his cigar once in a while." - Kinky Friedman
· De-Wussification -"We will beat back the wussification of Texas if we have to do it one wuss at a time." - Kinky Friedman.
· To fund education he wants to create the "Slots for Tots program", installing five or six video poker terminals in every bar in Texas.
· Speeding - "If you elect me the first Jewish governor of Texas, I'll reduce the speed limit from 55 to 54.95."
And the press may not be exactly supporting him, but at least they're giving him a lot of coverage. From the San Antonio Express News:
The Kerrville cowboy is the most refreshing and irreverent gubernatorial candidate in the state.
If his rivals -- Perry, Chris Bell and Carole Keeton Strayhorn -- morphed into one giant politician, they would not boast half the pizazz of The Kinkster.
Not that he is necessarily the best individual for the job, mind you (although he may be, depending on your ideology).
The Independent; yes that Independent, the one in England; had this to say:
Governor Perry has money and the backing of the national Republican Party from George Bush on down, but he is also struggling with low approval ratings and faces a nasty primary against the state comptroller, Carole Keaton Strayhorn. The presumed Democratic candidate for governor, Chris Bell, has been almost invisible. None of them will find it easy to make a case based on their experience. As Friedman wickedly puts it: "Politics is the only field of human endeavour where the more experience you have, the worse you get."
What Friedman is launching is a classic American populist campaign. At a time when the Bush presidency is hitting the rocks, there's probably no better state to try it than the spiritual home of George W and his entourage. Friedman's modest celebrity doesn't do any harm, either. Celebrity, after all, worked for Jesse Ventura, the wrestler who became governor of Minnesota in 1998, and for Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Terminator turned Governator of California.
And from the Dallas Morning News:
Then came the second, more shocking realization: He could win!
If Arnold "The Terminator" Schwarzenegger can be elected governor of California, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can be elected governor of Minnesota, there's nothing to say Kinky "The Kinkster" Friedman can't be elected governor of Texas.
Even Kinky is beginning to think he might win. "I think it's (campaign) really picking up steam. Now I'm starting to worry about what I'm going to do if I win the damn thing."
Texas deserves no less.
Cross posted on My Left Wing .