This transcript of an Oval Office conversation from very early this morning between Harriet Miers and George Bush (Karl Rove was also present, albeit, covertly) was just slipped under my office door.
It was signed, as these inside scoops always are when they're slipped under my door, by the mysterious Mr. X.
[NOTE: This may or may not be the mysterious Mr. X referred to in reports on Fitzgerald's leak probe. At this time, I don't have enough information to confirm or deny such a connection.]
Read on for transcript...
ROVE: (to Bush, pushing him into the Oval Office where Miers awaits) Go! Go tell her! Go ahead!
BUSH: (stumbling into Oval Office from Rove's shove) Oh, hi, Har! Um... Uh... Um...
MIERS: Yes, my Esteemed Leader?
BUSH: I gotta' cut you loose, Harry. Sorry.
MIERS: Oh?
BUSH: Yeah, gotta' cut you loose. Need a distraction from the indict-- er, (looking, panic-stricken, to Rove who stands in a shadow just outside the door) I, uh, the, uh--
MIERS: I will serve in whatever capacity you would like me to serve, oh Brilliant One.
BUSH: Yer my kind of gal, Harry. You really are. Fetch me a 'root beer' would ya'?
MIERS: (similing) You bet, Mr. Greatest President Ever! (takes two steps toward door, then pauses and turns back) You know, I'm really, really glad I'm not going to the Supreme Court!
BUSH: You are?
MIERS: Yes. Because now I get to stay right here with you -- the Smartest Man in the World! (Miers runs out to get 'root beer')
BUSH: Good. (aside) Damn! That was easy! I like sycofans.
ROVE: (emerging from shadow) That's syc-o-PHANT! P-H-A-N-T! Christ, you have the fucking vocabulary of an average third grader. What the hell are you gonna' do when I'm gone?
BUSH: Cry? And pout? Scream at people? Call mommy? (look of panic crosses Bush's face) DON'T LEAVE ME, KARL!!!! (Bush crumples to floor and rolls into a ball, sobbing)
ROVE: (aside) Pathetic. Truly pathetic. Fuck, I'm glad I'm getting out of this insane asylum in some ways. (aloud, to Bush) You'll be all right, George. Your mommy and daddy will make all the bad stuff go away like they always did before I came along and took over that job. NOW GET THE FUCK OFF THE FLOOR AND GET BEHIND YOUR DESK BEFORE HATCHET FACE GETS BACK WITH YOUR 'ROOT BEER!' And remember to use the breath mints before before you start shaking hands with people at that Howard University thing this morning. (aside) Jesus fucking christ...