Now that the year is winding down, it's time to gaze into my crystal ball to see what 2006 has in store.
(swirling, swirling)
Ah here we go, 2006:
January - Scott McClellan finally snaps and admits that not only is Bush obsessed with illegal wiretaps, but he was also so addicted to his spying habit that staffers had to rig him with a portable feed. He was almost discovered during the campaign when he was seen wearing the listening device during a debate. The public forgives the president, as just about everyone at that time was fascinated with "Bennifer".
- Patrick Fitzgerald indicts Karl Rove.
- Bush follow's Rove's advice and withdraws Samuel Alito's nomination in a crass effort to distract the media.
- A young girl, who appears to be white and, I think blond, suddenly disappears. Media swarms. Rita Cosby reluctantly puts the Natalee Holloway story to rest.
February
- President Bush is rebuffed by Laura on Valentine's Day, one of their two annual appointments for marital relations. Frustrated, Bush lashes out at staffers then tours nuclear weapons silos to help rebuild his self-worth.
- Dick Cheney indicted by Patrick Fitzgerald; Daily Kos servers melt down from overload. RSI injuries are rampant across America as refresh buttons are hammered.
- Condi Rice appointed VP.
March
- Condi Rice indicted. Resigns from VP position.
- Abramoff pleads guilty; begins spilling secrets on Republican members of Congress.
- Full civil war breaks out in Iraq. President calls the warfare "freedom talks".
- President asks brother Jeb to serve as VP. Jeb refuses, not wanting to be associated with the Bush administration. Lieberman finally gets the Vice Presidential position he's craved for so long.
April
- The term "traditional media" takes hold over MSM. Kos does a cabbage patch.
- VH1 launches new show: "The early 2000s", an inane collection of comedians discussing the early Bush years. Mo Rocca's take on 9/11 is generally deemed not funny.
May
- Tom DeLay refuses to get out of hot tub to return to his trial. Finally shows up to court in his bathrobe.
- Money talks: George Soros buys Fox News from Murdoch. Every employee is immediately fired.
June
- Bush goes on vacation; claims to be "exhausted". Staff concerned about his secret drinking.
July
August
September
October
- "Pictorial calendar" featuring photos of Georgia10 goes on sale, with proceeds going to Fighting Dems. Huge seller.
- Keith Olbermann's show now the top rated news program on cable TV.
November
- Bush pardons turkey. And Karl Rove. Public outraged.
- Dems win. Big. Now enjoy 10 vote margin in the House, five vote margin the Senate.
December
- Bush gets coal in his stocking.
- Impeachment proceedings begin in the House.
Anyone else have a crystal ball? What does yours say will happen in 2006?