It's funny. You get to thinking about something and wanting to write on it, and see that
someone has sort of beaten you to the punch. I want to heap some praise on Mass Southpaw's diary for what he has written, and urge you to read it if you haven't already. However, I wrote the following diary this morning on the train into work, and wanted to share it with you, even it is a little derivative of Mass Southpaw's excellent treatise.
After reflecting on my diary from yesterday, I must admit I'm embarassed by the stir is caused. In many respects, my diary was not something that should have been praised...and it certainly should not have hit the top of the Rec List at the cost of other diaries out there.
I would like to clarify something: the NYT Board of Director diaries did not set me off. What set me off was a slow burn of several diaries over the past several months that appeared to me to race up the Rec List with little thought or substance. It seemed that the most inflammatory diary got the most attention. In a way, I proved my own point by putting up a pretty inflammatory diary accusing several members of this community of being "demagogues".
On my way home on the train last night, I had a revelation of sorts. We don't have a "reality-based" community; we have a "projection-based" one.
What do I mean? Well, recently I've been reading The Lost Art of Compassion by Lorne Ladner, Ph.D. Dr. Ladner is a psychologist who also happens to practice Buddhism, in particular Tibetan Buddhism. In Chapter Six, "Seeing Through Projections", Ladner discusses that fact that all people have one of three views of every person, object or experience they interact with: positive, negative or neutral. Based upon those feeling, we create projections: attachment to our positive feelings, aversion to our negative ones, and indifference to our neutral ones.
Buddhism teaches us, according to Ladner, that we must break through these projections and develop a practice of "even-mindness". Buddhist teaching is that one cannot be free from desire, and hence suffering, without breaking these projections. In turn, one cannot develop true compassion for ourselves, for our loved ones, and for humanity with breaking these projections.
This is an over-simplification of Ladner's treatise, and if you are interested, I highly recommend his book. But based upon his theory, I did some self-study regarding my diary. In reality, my rant yesterday was not based on reality, but on my negative projection of what I interepreted to be poorly written diaries on the Rec List. Therefore, in the ultimate act of narcissism and self-cherishing, I let loose with a diatribe against the community as a whole. For those offended, I apologize.
If anything, in this analysis of projections, it might be helpful for this community if we're able to break through some of our projections about each other. How does this work, exactly? Well, let me try to give some examples:
As I write this, I realize that once it is posted, before anyone even reads it, people here will see who wrote it and have one of three projections: positive/attachment, because they liked what I had to say yesterday; negative/aversion, because they didn't like what I said yesterday; or neutral/indifference, because they don't know anything about me. It doesn't matter what the substance of this diary is...the projection will occur even before anyone reads a word of what I wrote.
Another example is even more personal to me. People on this board have a reaction to me based merely on my screen name, because they immediately see that I'm a lawyer. I guess I could have picked a more neutral screen name, but I'm proud of being a lawyer, I suppose (another act of narcissism and self-cherishing). However, people will react with positive, negative, or neutral feelings based on the fact that I'm a lawyer, without knowing anything else about me. The comments to my diary yesterday are replete with examples based on positive or negative sterotypes of lawyers. (You can browse through them here).
Anyway, I think we can be a better "community", if that's the right word, if we get past some of our projections. How do we do this? I'm not sure, but I think I have an idea. It may sound hokey, but here goes: I know that if I knew more about the folks on this board, both positive and negative, I could keep an even-mind about them, regardless of their opinions or writing skill.
As it stands now, most people here only see screen names, I think, not people. That's why it's so seductive, so easy, and, admittedly, so destructive to post flaming Baked Alaska diaries on the blog. What harm will it do, after all? It's just a bunch of bits and bytes out there in cyberspace (or as some exhorted to me yesterday, "Get over it. It's just the Internet.")
In that spirit, let me share with you some stuff about me, which you may find positive or negative, depending on your projection. Remember, regardless of your projection of me, the idea is to break that projection:
I'm a member of Generation X, turning 35 next year.
I'm married, for nearly eight years. Both my wife and I are attorneys.
We live in a nice house, with a cat, despite the fact I'm a dog person. In reality, our cat is more like a dog anyway. Go fig.
We are "well off" by modern standards, but it wasn't always that way. Before law school, we struggled with debt, living paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes had trouble with the rent. Now, we have substantial debt, but we at least have hopes of paying it off.
Until recently, most of my adult life I have not had health insurance.
I didn't grow up rich, but not poor either. Firmly middle-class, the product of two public school teachers. We lived in a modest house, with modest automobiles.
I wear a suit to work, but if given the choice, I'd wear a hockey jersey and sweats.
I don't think all Republicans/conservatives are slime.
I don't think all Democrats/liberals are saints.
I voted for Nader in 2000. I don't think it cost Gore the election. In fact, I think it may have helped the Democratic Party find its voice.
I have cried at the end of the following movies: Field of Dreams, Good Will Hunting, Schindler's List, Antowne Fisher.
I like golf, fine cigars, and can bar-b-que a mean brisket.
I've had an interesting life. My first real (and so far best) job was working with Jim Hightower on his radio show. From there, I worked on Capitol Hill, which was hell. Currently, I'm a lawyer in the field of public housing.
If I wasn't a lawyer, I'd probably be studying the emergence of Buddhist-Shinto syncretism in early 17th century Japan. This stems from my Master's Degree in Asian Studies.
I'm an unabashed Texas Longhorns fan. Hook 'em!
I can be long winded, lazy, bad with money, and judgmental. I'm working on all four of these flaws.
There. Hopefully I broke a few of your projections. Now I'd like to break some my projections of you. Feel free to share below.
I think this exercise is critical for this "community", if that's what we truly are. And we either are or we aren't. If we are, then we need to see beyond projections of ourselves to be able to have compassion for our party, this nation and the world. If we're not, and we're just a forum for a 24/7 bull session/rant, then let's admit it and move on. I'm sure many of us will just tune it out.
I think we are a "community", or are trying to be. Evidence of that fact can be found here. No mere electronic bull session decides to meet in person to improve our country.
So I'd feel good getting past my projections of people here and seeing if we can't take that next real step of actually making a difference with true compassion for each other and humanity as a whole.