News hath lately reach'd us here in the City of Newport in the Colony of Rhode-Ifland and Providence Plantations that the Board of Education for the County of Warwickfhire in England hath declar'd for the teaching of the Doctrine of Intelligent Motion in all Inftitutions of Higher Learning in said county. Thefe are indeed Sad Tidings for thofe who count themfelves Men of Learning and Members of the Community with its Bafis in Reality.
Below the fold may be found a Copy of the Proclamation iffued by the Men of the Board of Education for the County of Warwickfhire:
Regrettably, we hath been unable to locate a Link leading to the Original Copy of the Proclamation.
Proclaim'd this Day, being the Third Day of November in the Year of Our Lord One Thoufand Seven Hundred and Five:
Be it hereby acknowledg'd among the Folk of the County of Warwickfhire that We, the Men of the Board of Education for This County, do hereby proclaim that the Teaching of the Doctrine known as Intelligent Motion shall be requir'd in any School within said County wherein the Teaching of the Doctrine of Newtonism, alfo so-call'd the Doctrine of Univerfal Gravitation, is currently undertaken.
Being mindful of the Bounteous Evidence difcern'd among the Learned that there exift many Flaws within the Doctrine of Newtonism, such that divers motions among the Heavenly Bodies may not be explain'd other than by recourfe to a Higher Being, the Men of the Board of Education for the County of Warwickfhire have seen it as their Duty to the caufe of Higher Learning to require the Teaching of the most excellent Doctrine of Intelligent Motion, that the students of This County may be Better Inform'd thereby on the Queftion of the Motions of the Heavenly Bodies.
By Order of the Men of the Board of Education for the County of Warwickfhire:
The Hon. Mr. Praise-God Crivens, Efq.
The Hon. Mr. Jebediah Springfield, Efq.
The Hon. Mr. Sword-of-the-Lord Pulfifer, Efq.
The Hon. Mr. Nehemiah Scudder, Efq.
The Hon. Mr. Righteous Gerfon, Efq.
The Hon. Mr. Cutting-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Efq.
The Hon. Mr. Jedediah Clampett, Efq.
Thefe tidings can but bring to mind that moft excellent pamphlet entitl'd What Be the Matter With Warwickfhire? with which the Regular Patrons of Mr. Molitfas-Zuniga's Web-log are so familiar. We Men of the Community with its Bafis in Reality muft take what comfort we can from the News lately out of Dover in the County of Kent, concerning the late Elections to that good town's own Board of Education. For the nonce, we can but dedicate ourfelves all the more steadfaftly to the promotion of the Doctrine of Univerfal Gravitation, and of Heliocentrifm, and thofe other Doctrines which the study of Natural Philofophy hath reveal'd to the Sense of Mankind, in the hope that one day the pernicious Doctrine of so-call'd Intelligent Motion may be univerfally recognif'd for the Tiffue of Falfehood we know it to be.