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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
I don't want to come off as a whinybaby, but this morning I am discouraged. There are approximately 37 armories the size of football fields that are stockpiling the lies, distortions, misunderestimations, cockamamie ideas and outright gaffes of one George W. Bush. And which ones are used to devastating effect in Kerry's new ads? None of 'em. Instead, they feature Kerry's worst enemy: his own boring self. Saying his usual boring things in his usual boring way. Missed opportunities. Missed opportunities. Missed opportunities. (And so many donations wasted.) Gadflyer has a good analysis: http://gadflyer.com/flytrap/index.php?Week=200417#235
And you guys are no help! In yesterday's poll, a significant percentage selected "4 more years of Bush" as your self-inflicted punishment. So not only would you punish yourself, you'd punish the rest of us, too. Aye yi yi... Redeem yourself in today's poll.
Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section [Swoooosh!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, April 22, 2004
CHEERS to Roger Ebert's FCC smackdown. Man, I wish he'd write more political columns. This is Read-and-Pass-It-On stuff: http://www.suntimes.com/output/eb-feature/cst-edt-ebert16.html
JEERS to Earth Day photo ops. President George "Dick" Bush is here in Maine touting his environmental "record." How appropriate---we're called "America's Tailpipe" because so much pollution drifts here from the Midwest. (I'd give the Earth a hug...if I could go outside.)
CHEERS to the Understatement `O The Day. As California elections panel considers disciplinary action against Diebold because of defective electronic voting machines (http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/2004-04-21-diebold-flamed_x.htm), company president Robert "I will do anything to get Bush elected" Urosevich offers vigorous defense: "We're not idiots, though we may act from time to time as not the smartest." Spoken like a true idiot.
CHEERS to Rep. Curt Weldon. Republican vice chairman of House Armed Services Committee says (via Atrios blog) troops in Iraq are getting screwed by Bush, who is denying fresh funds until after the election. Weldon calls latest defense budget request "outrageous" and "immoral." Here's something you can do about it: http://www.spankbush.com
JEERS to Wednesday Massacre. Car bombs and skirmishes in Iraq tear another hundred-plus Iraqi civilians (lotsa kids) to shreds. How long before post-Saddam atrocities outpace pre-Saddam atrocities?
JEERS to Iraq Security Forces. Half of them are either walking off the job or actively working against us: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=4&u=/ap/20040421/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ap
_iraq_terror. With friends like these, who needs enemies?
CHEERS to Michael Moore. His new documentary, 'Fahrenheit 911,' is chosen for competition at Cannes film festival. Prediction: Audiences will clap their hands raw.
JEERS to Vermont Security. Oh darn---they've lost two of their radioactive fuel rods (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,117824,00.html). If you find them, just drop `em in the nearest mailbox. Return postage guaranteed.
JEERS to Dick "Dick" Nixon. He died 10 years ago today. Whoever chose the color of his headstone knew what they were doing: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=1418&pt=Richard%20Nixon
CHEERS to incredible timing. `South Park' skewers the strange, strange ways of Michael Jackson just minutes after his indictment hits the media. Oh, before I forget---memo to the Jackson jury: "If the glove fits..."
JEERS to frightened stupid white men. 49 years ago today, Congress ordered that "In God We Trust" be stamped on all coins to ward off evil Communists. Today, of course, we attribute that single brave act with our stunning victory. Gimme an Amen!
CHEERS to American Icons. 90 years ago today, Babe Ruth played in his first professional baseball game. For instant lump in throat, click here: http://www.jeanstephengalleries.com/babe-final.jpg And here: http://www.chrisepting.com/life3.htm And here: http://store4.yimg.com/I/photonewyork_1790_16548161
Floor's open...what are you cheering and jeering about today?