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Gather round gentle followers and lend an ear as your Angry Buddhist tells you the exciting tale of military genius, George W. Bush.

Just yesterday he stood proud before the cadets at our nation's Naval Academy and delivered our National Strategy for Victory in much the same way Dwight D. Eisenhower once delivered the D-Day plans to the Greatest Generation's best generals.

And just like that other former Texas Governor who went on to become a military genius war President, Lyndon Baines Johnson, our Warrior in the White House chooses to only make his important speeches at military locations surrounded by thousands and thousands of armed troops. Let there be no doubt about who is the Commander in Chief and who he is commanding.

Lyndon Bush Johnson - as he asked to be called during his speech - really got the uniformed throng on its feet cheering with his call to action,
    "We got all these folks killed and maimed in Iraq since we started this war for peace. And now if YOU don't go, and some of you don't get killed or maimed - then you are just pissing on the graves of those brave heroes and you are wasting all those deaths and injuries!"

Dedicating his policies and their execution to the spirit and standards of LBJ is another stroke of brilliance by Bush.

George is truly a Johnson in every sense of the word.

Clearly his Vietnamization of the Iraq war is bound to be just as effective and victorious as it was in Hanoi.

But Iraq is so much more important than Vietnam was, because Iraq is really World War III as so clearly seen by our Global War on Terror and it's geographic sweet spot in Iraq.

That's why we are so right to ignore Iran and Korea and to give the old "talk to the hand" to Osama Bin Laden and whatever the fuck else is going on in Afghanistan. Cut and run was right for Afghanistan, but obviously it is dead wrong for Iraq. And George knows that.

And do not let that coward Jack Murtha try to brainwash you. Nixon never liked him either. Just because Murtha said this morning the army is "broken, worn out," and went on to say "I admit I made a mistake when I voted for war," that doesn't mean any of that is true. He just wants to cut and run - that yellow bellied chicken.

Murtha, 73, the ranking Democrat on the House Appropriations defense subcommittee, expressed typical Democratic pessimism about Iraq's stability and said the Iraqis know who the insurgents are, but don't always share that information with U.S. troops. He said a civil war is likely because of ongoing factionalism among Sunni Arabs, and Kurds and Shiites. As IF!

Sounds to me like he doesn't have the American can-do spirit our President is powered by. "I will settle for nothing less than complete victory," Bush said in the speech at the U.S. Naval Academy. "It's worth the time and it's worth the effort."

You bet your ass it is. We're talking scoreboard here. What is more American than that?

To understand just how brilliant and strategic a military mind Bush has, you have to remember that he and his regime have been planning their war against Iraq for almost a decade now. So they really know what they're talking about when it comes to the environment and the battlefield.

Bush recalled in his speech yesterday that some Iraqi security forces once ran from battle, and he said their performance "is still uneven in some parts." But he also said improvements have been made in training and Iraqi units are growing more independent and controlling more territory.

Your Angry Buddhist says that's exactly why this war is so important. In the beginning of the war we had to use "shock and awe" to get the Iraqis attention and make them understand just how much they loved freedom and craved Western style Democracy. But today they are growing more independent and controlling more territory. And that's not just any territory, that's Iraq territory. Impressive, no?

Perhaps it is Lyndon Bush Johnson's ability to bob, weave and escape detection - honed to perfection during his years as a stealth National Guard pilot - that enables the President to see what others are too blind to grok.

Bush said U.S. troops could withdraw as Iraqi forces gain competence, but a deadline would only embolden insurgents. "As we make progress toward victory, Iraqis will take more responsibility for their security, and fewer U.S. forces will be needed to complete the mission. America will not abandon Iraq," he said. No way.

How could we? Not when the Iraqis have shown all the traits and character of our very own founding fathers. Everyone knows that Ahmad Chalabi is the moral and intellectual equivalent of Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin rolled into one.

That's why our 160,000 men and women in the military will stay to bravely face the 10,000 insurgents who are equipped with the best machine guns, rocket-propelled grenades, mortars and cell phone bombs that can be scrounged and smuggled into a battleground. A battleground where our heroes in uniform are unfairly handicapped by having to use the most advanced and sophisticated weaponry every given to any army in history. Can you say, "reboot?"

Some might say that Americans at home in the USA were safer from terrorist attacks originating from Iraq when Saddam was in power. These propagandists would point out that Saddam's iron fisted rule included keeping terrorists out of Iraq - especially Islamic militant terrorists and Jihadists. Saddam was a power freak and he worshipped control and cash as his god not Allah. That's what made it so easy for him to go to war against his dangerous neighbor Iran.

But today, thanks to the vision and execution of the Bush Regime, Iraq is now an Islamic Republic, soon to be formally aligned with nuclear weapon-building Iran as Koran keepers of the faith.

And with that bad boy Saddam in custody, terrorists consider Iraq their safe house and Gymboree.

Of course, George couldn't have done it without the help of America's great mercenary military. Those fine men and women who volunteered to join the active armed forces or National Guard. They either joined up because they were gung ho to go kill somebody in reaction to 9-11 or they did it for the money and benefits. Either way, they chose to put on a uniform and pick up a gun for money.

And nobody supports the mission more then they. In fact, nobody supports their Commander in Chief more. They appreciate him and they appreciate that he took the pressure off them to be "the good guys."

By making torture legal and having Rumsfeld say yesterday that if our troops witness torture first hand they don't have to try and stop it, they just need to file a report, our troops can show the bad guys who's boss without looking like some rule-following pussies. That's a lesson Bush learned first hand in college when he was personally in charge of branding new frat boys with a burning hot metal coat hanger.

So lets have a 21 gun salute to our invading army of gung-ho jarheads who honor us all so greatly.

Honoring us so greatly in fact that our military's highest ranking ethicist, West Point grad and instructor, Ted Westhusing, blew his brains out when he saw what was happening on the ground.

He just didn't have what it takes. But we honor his sacrifice. You bet we do. And if we cut and run now, that sacrifice would be for nothing. Hoo ya!

    'I came to serve honorably and feel dishonored. Death before being dishonored any more.' -- From a note found near Ted Westhusing's body

Originally posted to The Angry Buddhist on Thu Dec 01, 2005 at 03:19 PM PST.

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