From Sarasota, Florida....
Permit me a bit of indulgence. Twenty five years and two days ago, on April 15th, I raised my right hand and took this oath on the day I entered the U.S. Navy:
''I, Andrew Abshier, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice.
Six and a half years later, I left the Navy, but I still consider myself to be serving under that oath--up to and including the "allegiance to the same" part. I would encourage all of you to serve under that oath also.
A rather short Cheers and Jeers Monday begins in the extended copy section .......(SWOOOSH!).....Right NOW! (GONG!)
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, lusty wenches, mattress references, insults to Armando, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
NOTE: Though the name "Maryscott O'Connor appears in the body of this diary's text, this diary is not primarily about Maryscott O'Connor, the Washington post, her many respondents, and fans. You're welcome.
DOC'S BAD JOKE OF THE WEEK! (in the convenient gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
Let's dive into the world of science this week:
--The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines a transistor as a nun who's had a sex change.
--Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
--Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
A: "Gotta split!"
--Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexics Association
--Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
Katherine Harris: Pure. Comedy. Gold.
You know, I really didn't realize that her two main, ah, campaign assets were so.....prominent. Oh, and the pink cowboy boots? How.....RuPaul:
The Sarasota Herald-Tribune ran this photo a couple of weeks ago in the print edition, but I couldn't find an online version until Saturday. The photo is from her appearance at the rodeo parade in Arcadia, Florida. Thank you, thank you, a thousand thank yous to Wonkette, for finding this image. They have made a mini-industry out of snarking about the Princess, so go visit if you need a laugh at her expense. Or lots of them.
Cheers to a fundraising lead--for the Democrats. Incumbent Senator Bill Nelson has $6.3 million more in his campaign coffers than Harris, even with the Princess contributing $3 million of her own money. Nelson outdid her in fundraising for the first quarter by a 3-1 margin. So maybe R's do know a bad investment when they see one.
Jeers to the things that make you go "hmmmmm". A website with the following URL--www.bense2006.com--has been registered and is under construction. The "bense" in this URL may well be Allan Bense, the speaker of the Florida House, who had been courted for the Senate campaign, had turned it down, but apparently is being assidouously courted again. (via FLA Politics)
Jeers to things that make you go "hmmmmmmm", part II. During an exchange on the Kathy Fountain Show, a local talk show in Tampa, reported in the St. Petersburg Times "Buzz" blog (scroll down) the Princess was asked about her notorious accusation of newspapers "doctoring" photos of her to make her appear that she was wearing blue eye shadow. She attempted to deflect the question with this comment:
I just question why there was blue eye shadow. But it doesn't matter. Why are we talking about this? Kathy, that's so silly. Because people care about the issues. If the media wants to talk about appearances that's different, but I'm not going to talk about it. That's demeaning to women...They don't talk about men's balding or their weight, or their diminutive size.
Diminutive size. Well, she has been on Fox News a lot lately.
Maryscott-a-palooza!
Cheers to the Queen of All Media. Fresh from cheering her on for her appearance on John "Hoot" Gibson's nationally televised Crock Fox News show, The Big Story, Maryscott O'Connor was featured in a front-page story on no less than the Washington Post's front page. So now she has appeared on Gibby's nationally-syndicated radio show (multiple times), national television, and has been featured in an article in a national newspaper. This can mean only one thing--coming soon: Maryscott: The Motion Picture.
Jeers to the WaPo photo editor for the above story. What. in. the. HELL. were. they. thinking? Maybe they were trying to make her look "real" but let me tell you, if Halle Berry was photographed from that angle, she wouldn't look that great either. Oy.
Jeers to irony. I've read postings in the past from MSOC bemoaning the glut of repetitive diaries whenever a major news event occurs. So what drew the latest diary glut on Saturday? Why, the WaPo/MSOC story, of course, including, at one point four diaries on the reco list at the same time. Heh.
The Rest:
Cheers to one of our great Founding Fathers, Benjamin Franklin, who passed away on this date in 1790. His achievements as a printer, inventor, journalist, and statesman are well known and respected--but what you may not have known is that he was also a master of snark:
Many have quarrel'd about Religion, that never practis'd it.
Where there is Marriage without Love, there will be Love without Marriage.
A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.
Fish & Visitors stink in 3 days.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Cheers to truth in advertising. In South Africa, the Advertising Standards Authority threw out a complaint from the Dry Beans Producers Organization about an ad showing a rugby player eating beans and smelling "stinky". In their ruling, the ASA stated, "[The ad] plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied." Brrraaaaap! Oh, sorry. You can edit that out, can't you.....?
There you have it! Yeah, it was a short one. What do you have to Cheer and Jeer about today?