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It occurs to me that if I were interested in upending the Republic and setting myself up as king, then I'd have a lot of work cut out for me. After all, the United States' very existence is an explict eff you to monarchy.

Regardless, fascinations with power, with destiny, with imposing one's superior vision on a restive and chaotic public for its own good fill American history. An ancient example is Aaron Burr; a more recent one...well, you know the guy. He's the one claiming powers of legislation and judicial review lately.

But this isn't about them. This is about my master plan to assume dominion and lord it over everyone.

And if this stops being amusing very quickly: that's kind of the point. You're not supposed to be amused. You're supposed to wonder: Hmm...someone could really do this someday.

Monarchies are invariably religious societies -- rather, they are societies in which an influential theocracy wields considerable influence over public opinion, monied and landed interests, the courts, the promulgation of law, and the very constitution itself.

In a country like the United States, the mission is manifold, and will likely take decades to implement the following interrelated goals:

1. Change Perceptions: Make Monarchism Cool.
2. Control the Conversation: Frames, Media Ownership, Participation.
3. Act Precipitately: To Conceal the Few Moves That Matter.
4. Demand Loyalty: Raise No Allies. Make Vassals.
5. Gather Arms and Gold: Prepare for the Final Confrontation.
6. Fine-Grained Organization: Personal Involvement
7. Empower the Faithful: Define the Crusade
8. Enter the New Order: By Default, for the Old One Dies

  • Implement a campaign to protect the Constitution -- by challenging the legitimacy of all competing efforts to interpret it, to declare oneself a strict constructionist, then from a position of unassailable dedication to the 'original intent' of the Founding Fathers, interpret it however I/we/We please. Not: I/we/We do not say 'Framers', but Founding Fathers; we're all about the patrimony in this exercise. I mean, we're setting up a monarchy, folks.

  • Demonize Congress as the source of corruption and confusion, waste and wrongness with Washington. I mean, all those greedy, venal little men with little power, conniving at every turn, making...compromises. They are the we need to throw them all out and get people in Congress who are godly, and place a higher power (me) first over their own self-advancement, and never, ever compromise their principles. Then, once safely ensconced, such moral notables can do what such moral notables always do when given free rein -- exactly the same (if not worse) than the class before it. And I/we/We will encourage them to...indulge themselves. Tht only discredits Congress as an institution further.

  • Get in good with the landowners. That means real estate developers, natural resource extractors, and farmers. Land = commodities for consumption and export. That means leverage. We'll promote subsidies and tax breaks and special access for these good, loyal friends of the Republic. They will come to depend on such favors, and I will be the sole dispensary for same. At first they will love Us, then come to fear losing Our love.

  • Create a political climate of hostility toward institutions, parties and politicians, to ideas old and ideas new, a condition of agitation looking for release, any release. In such a Hobbesian condition, he who is strongest prevails, and it is a naked contest of power and will, and being the king-in-waiting, who do you think shall win? It shall be Us.

  • Do all of the above cloaked in the guise of promoting morality and values, just shy of being in the name of God, which of course would be untrue. We are doing this in the name of Ourselves. However, one must honor the customs of the conquered, in order to rule them.

  • Assert that the Founders never really meant Separation of Church and State -- not because I believe any such silly thing, but because asserting such a thing empowers my movement, and casts a wide range of liberties and customs contingent on that foundation into doubt. Assert that America was founded as a (Protestant) Christian nation -- again, not because it is true, but because at the present time, most practicing faith-holders cleave to (Protestant) Christianity. Were I two generations later, perhaps I would press for closer ties to Rome, then engineer a schism with Holy Mother Church. But that's not going to happen; We are becoming your Sovereign now.

  • Reveal to the indulgent Congress -- especially those of my party -- just how short their leash is: Punish a few to send a message to the others, that their power, even their very freedom, is at Our pleasure. That those who do their King's will shall enjoy their high offices, and those who displease Us will be tossed over the wall to the howling mob.

  • At the same time, aggrandize my office with the powers that a dissolute Congress cannot bar me from taking, on account it is busy defending itself from charges, and testing the length of its new tether.

  • Raise wealth from those persons who made much of their latter-day fortune from my patronage. As with Congress, send a clear message to the rich and powerful that they, too, can be spared justice and spared nothing, as suits their Sovereign. For those who are suitable to the forms of the order to be, no crime cannot be forgiven. For those who imagine themselves to be aloof, no refuge shall protect them from Justice and her wrath. All to the forms and laws, of course...and yet it is a wondrous thing, what command of the bench and of the office of the prosecutor can accomplish.

  • Generate a steady diet of little crises, as proving grounds for various strategies and tactics, to test the wits and resolve of enemies and provide training and experience to loyalists. The particulars are unimportant, the more trivial and irrelevant to national interest the better; the point is establishing an appetite for high-level intervention, for action by the King and the King's Men, and even where no interest is raised, acting anyway. The people must become acccustomed to a vigorous and assertive executive.

  • Compromise with other institutions, leaders, the opposition party, even the states...and honor no promises that do not aggrandize central authority and the rise of new institutions, customs and persons who raise Our imperium with every gesture, every uttered word. Leave such persons explaining their unrewarded trust, having to choose between making justification and acknowledging incompetency. It is the same to Us.

  • Find a dire foe, first and foremost one that dwells within the Republic, enjoys the same liberties and privileges of the old order as loyalists. Make the idea of equality with such persons unbearable to those who love the king (easy), embarrassing to support to those who do not..then move to gradually reduce the value of such liberties, first slowly, then aggressively.

  • If done properly, by the time the last jot of freedom is removed from the Republic, the crowd will carry Us to our throne in the Capitol Rotunda.


    Now you can start screaming.

  • Originally posted to cskendrick on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 06:35 PM PST.



    21%3 votes
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    50%7 votes

    | 14 votes | Vote | Results

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    Comment Preferences

    •  Remember: We're just KIDDING here. (4.00)
      I can barely keep my two little boys in line. :)

      Never let being humane get in the way of being human. And vice-versa.

      by cskendrick on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 06:33:25 PM PST

    •  only (4.00)
      wu ming will understand this.

      "You'd like that's all political and morose."

      by Miss Devore on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 06:36:12 PM PST

    •  Your detailed thought... (none)
      explained just how Bush seeks to be King...will he succeed?

      Thanks for your well thought out diary :>

    •  Okay....I started screaming after #1!! (4.00)
    •  You didn't write a paper at some point (none)
      on this subject that the Bushies have gotten hold of?  Seems to me like they've been following this outline  and from Raygun days.

      Mack Reynolds wrote a science fiction story in the 50s called "The Radical Center"---about a bunch of rich old men working to make the country cynical enough not to even bother votine.    I keep thinking back on that story.

      Out of Iraq NOW. What Murtha said.

      by maybeeso in michigan on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 07:19:27 PM PST

      •  Nope. (none)
        But I did write a paper on the likelihood of different types of regimes to go to war -- and in all the various combinations.

        That required learning what makes monarchies tick.

        A thorough reading of classical history (Greek tyrants, Roman emperors) with some heavy cribbing off of Machiavelli fills in the rest. :)

        Never let being humane get in the way of being human. And vice-versa.

        by cskendrick on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 07:22:16 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  Um, the Brists have a CONSTITUTIONAL (none)
      monarchy and they are abotu as far froma theocracy as it gets. Granted that the monarch is TECHNCIALLY head of the Chruch of ENgland--but in Britian it is consdiered as impolite to ask soemoen what religion they follow as it is to inquire about their favorite sexual position. It jsut isn't DONE.  

      I wish we'd get to that level over here.  I'd even be happy to pay a useless family to open thr races and look dowdy and hug kids with AIDS.  Bush's family has faield msierbaly at it all except the frumpy/dowdy part.

      The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

      by irishwitch on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 08:16:57 PM PST

      •  I'm thinking of traditional monarchies (none)
        As they continue to be practiced.

        It's been a long time since the devoutly secular British civilisation has been inconvienced by religious strife and divine-rightism...

        ...that sort of thing's just not done these days.

        However, once upon a time, people died for poor choice of churches in England.

        And that madness may be upon us, here in the Colonies.

        Never let being humane get in the way of being human. And vice-versa.

        by cskendrick on Fri Jan 06, 2006 at 07:20:56 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Hate to tell you (none)
          but we already have a theocrayc down here int he SOuth.  You can't get elected without the backing of the Christian Colation. THAT is one of the mainr easons Max  Clelans lsot.  

          The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

          by irishwitch on Fri Jan 06, 2006 at 01:32:07 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

    •  cs: You can check off #4. (none)

      Mission Accomplished...


      It ain't called paranoia - when they're really out to get you.

      by Jaime Frontero on Thu Jan 05, 2006 at 09:21:42 PM PST

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