My daughter is an "anti-bullying" facilitator at her middle school. About every six weeks she gets training on how to deal with bullies and learns to teach other kids how to deal with bullies. Last night, she and another facilitator did a presentation to our School Committee. My wife took her to the meeting and I stayed home with the boys and watched her presentation on public access cable. I recorded her presentation. She has her dad's stage presence. :-) If you would like a copy, I will burn you a DVD :-) (Sorry proud dad moment)
At the end of her presentation, she read a quote:
"In Germany they first came for the Communists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me--and by that time no one was left to speak up."
- 1939, Rev. Martin Niemoeller, Lutheran minister and former U Boat captain
More below the quote...
The thrust of my daughter's presentation and of this quote is that we must stand up to bullies. The presentation also pointed out the various rolls played in a bullying situation:
- Instigator: Those who start the bullying process
- Aggressor: Those involved in bullying
- Bystander: The person on the sidelines who witnesses but does nothing
- Allies: Those who step in to help or go get help
- Target: The victim of the bullies
The fictional world is full of bullies. For books, I think of
The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
; a story where the bullies win (remember the main victim, Piggy, and the primary bullies and instigators Ralph, Roger, and Jack). In movies, I think of the Star Wars series with the bullies Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader. Fortunately for all mankind and ET-kind, the targets (victims of the bullying) win. It is tough to stop at these two examples because there are many well-known and "favorite" bullies of fiction.
Sadly, there are many examples of bullies (instigators and aggressors) in our non-fiction world. George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Swift Boaters, Bill O'Reilly, Christian Right, NeoCon Republicans (and many other subspecies of Republicans), Fox News, NRA, The Mainstream Media, Tom Delay, Alberto Gonzales, Rush Limbaugh, U. S. Military, and many others come to mind. Their primary tactic is to pick on the weak. In some cases they declare the other side as "bad" then pick on them (Swiftboating). And the aggressors "pile on" once the picking has started.
In many respects, my daughter, at 13 years old, is better prepared to deal with these bullies than I. She, for example, has already internalized the labels of instigator, aggressor, bystander, ally, and target. She already knows how to step in as an ally and diffuse heated situations. She has also gained the strength to step in. Last night, in her presentation, the Superintendent of Schools asked here, "Why did you get involved in this program?" She answered, "Because I hate seeing what bullies do to other people." Then he asked, "What has changed since you started in the program?" She said, "I'm not afraid to say something when I see bullying." Imagine how proud I felt when I heard her say those words (it is choking me up as I type).
Most of us here at dKos know about bullies, we write and read about them daily. But are we doing the right things? What can we learn from my daughter? Some key lessons for me:
Call it when you see it. You may not necessarily say it aloud, but at a minimum, in your mind think: "That's a bully situation."
Step in. Based on your read of the situation do it on your own or get appropriate help. (How many times does Hagrid help Harry against Malfoy?) Perhaps that means calling in a Senator or Representative, Governor, or Judge (Harry Reid comes to mind) but we must make that call.
Identify the Instigators AND the Aggressors. Bush may start the bullying, but it's often the O'Reillys of the world that do the dirty work (From Harry Potter, think of Crabb and Goyle, Malfoy's henchmen)
Make the bully aware of his or her behavior. I do not recall the handle of the dKos poster, but he has literally become a professional pain in the ass to the bullies of talk radio. (and for our benefit, he posts the transcripts of his calls here.) All of us must take actions like this. We must call the bully on his or her behavior
Rinse and Repeat: Yup, we'll have to do it over and over and over...
Harry Reid, John Conyers, Cindy Sheehan, Al Franken, Markos, and Jon Stewart, are just a few examples of people willing to stand up to bullies. Let's learn from them and stop the bullying. It's time we all spoke up.
ARB