Right now, the GOP is trying to figure out how to hold on to the party base for the November elections. The stakes are high, because the Bush administration would face investigations and impeachment proceedings if the Democrats get control of the Congress. Although I have completely given up on the Republicans, I haven't gotten around to changing my party registration. Thus, I got a fundraising letter the other day from Ken Mehlman, chairman of the Republican National Committee. Like many such letters, it included a pretend yes/no/undecided questionnaire as if Mehlman wanted to know my opinion on the issues.
I think this questionnaire is worth sharing here so that we can go over the list of what the GOP apparently regards as winning issues. These do not include Iraq, Katrina or prescription drugs. See the extended section for the questions and my answers.
DOMESTIC AND INTERNATIONAL SECURITY
1. Do you support President Bush's initiatives to promote the safety and security of all Americans?
If there were any, I would support them. One thing I learned on 9/11 is that Bush can always run and hide in a bunker if anything bad happens.
2. Do you support the use of air strikes against any country that offers safe harbor or aid to individuals or organizations committed to further attacks on America?
No, I don't support the planned war with Iran or any other wars of aggression that the Bush administration wants to start.
3. Do you continue to support increasing the amount of security at airports, train stations and all government buildings including monuments and museums?
I'm starting to get tired of a government that rules by fear. By the way, I notice you left seaports off the list--can you say "United Arab Emirates"?
ECONOMIC ISSUES
1. Should the Inheritance or "Death Tax" be permanently repealed?
No, because like nearly everybody I'll never make enough to have to pay inheritance tax and I don't want the GOP to increase our already $9 trillion national debt.
2. Do you support President Bush's pro-growth policies to create more jobs and improve the economy?
I don't know anything about these policies, but I do know Bush's presidency has been marked by the worst net job losses since Herbert Hoover. Maybe you mean Bush's job creation in India?
3. Do you think Congress should focus on cutting the federal budget deficit by reducing wasteful government spending?
Yes, but Bush doesn't because he's never vetoed a wasteful spending bill.
EDUCATION ISSUES
Do you support President Bush's plan to make our schools more accountable to parents and to restore local control of education?
I thought "No Child Left Behind" was all about federal control and unfunded mandates for state and local government.
2. Should students, teachers, principals and administrators be held to higher standards?
Not by the federal government--didn't the GOP want to abolish the Department of Education a few years ago? Now the education bureaucracy budget has tripled under Bush.
3. Do you agree that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?
The question must be asked--is our children learning? The answer is, if a functional illiterate can grow up to be president, what's the big deal about education?
SOCIAL ISSUES
1. Do you support President Bush's initiative to allow private religious and charitable groups to do more to help those in need?
You mean, do I support Bush's efforts to eliminate government programs to help needy Americans? What would Jesus do?
2. Do you support the law, passed by the Republican Congress and signed by President Bush, that bans partial-birth abortions?
Do I want the federal government dictating difficult, private medical decisions? Doesn't every conservative?
3. Do you support the President's efforts to save Social Security for future generations?
You mean do I want to eliminate Social Security? What is this, doublespeak?
4. Do you think Congress should pass legislation on the Federal Marriage Amendment?
Do I want to live in a country where some people have more civil rights than others? No, not really.
DEFENSE ISSUES
1. Do you think U.S. troops should have to serve under United Nations commanders?
Sure, as long as we get to fly around in cool-looking black helicopters.
2. Do you agree that our top military priority should be fighting terrorists?
Our military can be effective if used properly, or they can make the problem worse if misused to launch wars of aggression. It looks like the best recruiting tool for Al Qaeda is the bloodshed and chaos caused by the American war of aggression in Iraq.
3. Should the U.S. continue work on building a defense shield against nuclear missile attack?
Why budget money on security for our ports when we can waste it on Star Wars fantasy weapons?
REPUBLICAN PARTY
- Do you support the election of Republican candidates across the country and rebuilding our majorities over the next ten years?
- a. Did you vote in the year 2000?
b. Did you vote in the year 2002?
c. Did you vote in the year 2004?
3. Will you join the Republican National Committee by making a contribution today?
Please make your personal check payable to: RNC, 310 First St., SE, Washington DC 2003.