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Scientists Call Fossil the 'Missing Link'

Scientists have discovered fossils of a 375 million-year-old slug-man, a creature not seen before, that they say is a long-sought "missing link" in the evolution of some slugs from living under rocks to a life walking on two limbs, distributing talking points and schmoozing with lobbyists.  This slug-man exhibits many of the changes that anticipate the emergence of Bush Republicans(bushas republicanus). The discovery had long been expected because many Bush Republicans are still leaving the telltale slime trail (see Mehlman, Ken).

Several well-preserved skeletons of slug-man were uncovered in sediments of a pre-historic gated community in a Houston Texas suburb.  The rudimentary skeletons have large grasping hands and clear evidence of gaping mouths filled with fossilized lies.

In addition to confirming elements of a major transition in evolution, the fossils are widely seen by scientists as a powerful rebuttal to religious creationists, who hold a literal biblical view on the origins and development of life.  Creationists poo poo these discoveries as either a fraud or a Godly joke, quoting scripture that references Bush Republicans in nearly present form being created by God only 6000 years ago.

On close examination, scientists found other telling anatomical traits of a transitional creature.  "There are definite indications of a pre-smirk and a sense of entitlement way out of proportion to the needs of an ordinary slug.  A slug that is still a slug but exhibiting changes that anticipate the emergence of Rush Limbaugh, Tom DeLay and eventually George W. Bush himself."

The discovering scientists called the fossils the most compelling examples yet of an animal that was at the cusp of the slug-Republican transition. The slug-man has been named 'Open Bar' at the suggestion of elders of Houston's exclusive River Oaks Country Club. Open Bar (pronounced o-pen bar) means "someone else pays."

Dr. Shubin, an evolutionary biologist, let himself go in an interview. "It's a really amazing remarkable intermediate fossil — it's like, holy cow," he enthused.

with help from NYTimes

Originally posted to simplicity7 on Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 07:54 AM PDT.

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