I wonder who is responsible for this crap? Got this one in the inbox today, and it's so full of falshoods and wrong assumptions that it nearly makes my head explode. How does one best retaliate in kind to this garbage? A point-by-point refutation?
UPDATE: Added a link to the
diary by fbihop which refutes at least one of the points about
taxes! Thanks fbihop!
Here's the text of it:
MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
I'm going to attempt a point-by-point demolition of this bullshit. I am asking all of you to help out and provide a few, or better ones than I can. Then I'm gonna do the 'reply to all' trick. That should at least get me off the list. :p
Here we go.
"I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here."
Want to hear another thing immigrants get to skip?
Protection from the law - often they have no recourse when subjected to financial exploitation or outright violence. How can they go to the cops if someone refuses to pay them? Or if they're raped? Oh, it's okay to rape an illegal immigrant then, because they shouldn't have been here anyway? Some family values. It's not exactly a paradise for illegals who come here. Would you volunteer to step into their shoes?
"1. Free medical care for my entire family."
Immigrants haven't been alone in demanding equal access to medical care - in fact the majority of Americans support the idea. And anyone with half a brain knows it's never "free." Tax dollars do a pretty good job of it in Canada and the UK. How about repealing the tax cuts and corporate welfare for record-profit companies like Exxon and plowing that money back into our people's health?
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
When was it made mandatory for U.S. bureaucrats to speak spanish? Did I miss that? Or are you just pulling that idea out of your ass?
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
How on Earth would any illegal immigrant in the U.S. be in a position to demand government forms be printed in Spanish? Which illegal immigrant has become the media point person for this effort? Please tell us.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
Again, where has there been a widespread demand by illegals for the equivalent in Spanish?
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
Every school I have seen in the U.S. includes classes on the history of other countries, at least in part. Usually they are optional. When have illegal immigrants in the US made this demand for mandatory instruction on their home country?
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
Are you saying that the reverse of this has happened in the U.S.? Citation, please.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
When you manage to stop partaking in school lunch programs in the U.S., this statement might seem less hypocritical.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
If it's actually that easy for an illegal immigrant to get a real driver's license, then you got me on that one.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
And this would make you different from a large number of U.S. citizens in what way?
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
Now you're just being an idiot.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
And rightly so. Let me clue you in: despite recent erosions, THE UNITED STATES IS STILL A FREE COUNTRY. If an immigrant from another country wants to fly a pirate flag here in the U.S., they're free to do it. Fly your own flag and STFU.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
Nice job? NICE JOB? Tell me which illegal immigrants are pulling down 90k salaries and taking two-hour lunches. Please, I gotta hear this. Unless someone out there is paying a lot of money for having their toilets cleaned.
As for taxes, they pay sales tax when they buy things, right? So cut the crap about "not paying any." These purchases on U.S. soil also contribute in no small way to the economy, too. *UPDATE* Some of them DO PAY INCOME TAXES after all!
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.
Give me a break. The corrupt and criminal decisions of one coked-up moron in the White House has placed more strain on the U.S. economy than a barbarian horde of illegals ever could. At least illegals still have to buy stuff and therefore in some way contribute. The Bush administration gives away the treasury, your hard earned tax dollars, to its best friends. By the frigging BILLIONS.
Want to try again?
Please comment on your own examples of refutations - I'm sure you all can come up with far better than I've done here.