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Let's go under the assumption for now that The Decider isn't pulling another bait and switch with the press secretary position, and that Fox News commentator Tony Snow will at least be offered (if not will accept) the position as White House Press Secretary.

And let's pretend that there is even a hint of concern that at least the White House wants to put on some sort of credible face towards a press corps(e) that has started to arise from the dead.  Since no one trusted Puffy McMoonface and no one trusts the blathering bullshit that is coming out of this administration, you would think that at least Josh Bolton would want to have someone that is not a blatant proven liar spew and spin the crap set out by Dear Leader and his merry band of criminals.

But more importantly, the left blogosphere has proven its ability to make enough noise at times to expose and derail some of the appointments, lies, plagiarisms, nominations and candidacies of the lying liars.  And with Tony Snow, there is a wealth of his own lies that must be used to stop this before it starts.

More below:

The good folks over at Mediamatters.org have compiled not one but two lists of the "many falsehoods of Tony Snow".  Not surprisingly, they range from areas as supporting the Swift Boat Liars to dismissing evolution to Bush's going AWOL from the National Guard to immigration to Gitmo to Joe Wilson.

Of course, we have to assume that anyone involved with this administration is, at BEST, a lying jackass, what purpose does it really serve to have someone that is proven to be a lying shill jackass before going into a position where he/she has to answer questions every day?  Why not just have no press secretary and just issue one page of talking points each day?  That will at least save some time and money.....

Anyway, before even talking about what crap and nonsense Chimpy and the Gang want to be heaped upon the press, Snow should be called to the carpet on his own words and lies that make him unfit to even lie with a straight face.  At least Scotty could do that.  Besides, Scotty had a couple of years head start of lying before the shit really hit the fan.  

So Snow (or whatever other talking meatstick they would get instead to take Scotty's place) is already walking into a situation of the lowest approval ratings ever, civil war in Iraq, lies being exposed left and right about Iraq, a lunatic crash course with dropping nuclear bombs (I still can't believe I am typing those words) on Iran, indictments over Republican felon Abramoff and the corruption scandal that could be the greatest congressional scandal ever, people "leaving" their jobs within the administration, calls for Rummy to leave, more info about torture and rendition, possible Fitzmas indictments, hurricane season coming, a potential disaster with midterm elections and I am sure at least 500 more scandals that I am forgetting off the top of my head.

No wonder he is tentatively thinking about accepting the job.

Anyway, the 2 mediamatters links are good and have lots of links themselves, but I'll put some of the bigger doozies below so you can see how this assclown should be laughed out of consideration for Press Secretary (remember, we are still pretending that there will some semblance of credibility at this "face of the administration" position).

Since there are so many, I'll try to lump them into categories, just so your head doesn't explode too quickly.

Blatant Dumbass Republican Shilling Hackery

Jeez, where to begin here.  Not that this won't make him a "darling" to these losers, this guy knows he has stiff competition with Falafel-man O'Reilly, Hannity, Mann Coulter, and the pill-popping Rush Limbaugh.  So he has a few gems of his own:

Swift Boat Liars

Here, Snow is a strong defendant of the blatant un-American lies to attack a war veteran for sick political purposes.  According to his own comments on the O'Reilly Factor (sorry, transcript no longer available), he had this gem:

"there has been no documentary contradiction of the swift boat stuff."

Besides the fact that there was this, this, this and a dozen other supporting stories and documents linked here, it has long since passed the point where it is even debatable as to whether these jackasses had any credibility with their accusations of Kerry.  Just the fact that he vehemently supported them is enough to show how much he hates our troops and America.

Shrub's going AWOL

Once again, on the O'Lielly Factor, Snow is at his lying shilling best when he had this to say:

And now, it [CBS News] also has the fuller problem of if the documents are forgeries, how do you make the claim that the story itself was true? After all, the story itself hinges upon what? Somebody finding out whether the president showed up for a physical.

In other words, you have to prove that he wasn't there. Well, that's almost impossible to do. The doctor is not around. So there's CBS left grasping at straws.

Except for the inconvenient fact that this little document was out there at the time proved that he was, yup, lying out of his ass.

(Un)intelligent Design

Yes, he is one of those tools who doesn't believe in science.  And he was willing to put it into writing too, by coming up with this line that must have made Dobson oh-so proud:

Evolutionary theory, like ID, isn't verifiable or testable. It's pure hypothesis -- like ID -- although very popular in the scientific community. Its limits help illuminate the fact that hypotheses are only as durable as the evidence that supports them.

Now, I'm not even going to argue this point but if you are one of the believers that there was a "creator" (other than the flying spaghetti monster, of course), the you can go here.  Once again, the guy doesn't even believe in science.

Iraq lies, other administration crimes

Illegal wiretapping lies

Here is where he stands out among the shilliest shillers that have ever shilled.  First, we have his lie (first cooked up by fat KKKarl) about the Democrats supporting Al Qaeda:

While speaking to Fox News political analyst Bob Beckel, Snow suggested that "Democratic opposition" to the warrantless domestic surveillance program arose from the belief that "the government should not be able to listen to Al Qaeda people talking to American citizens."

Or this whopper about Carter authorizing the same type of wiretapping that J Edgar Hoover, I mean Richard Nixon, I mean Chimpy has authorized:

President Jimmy Carter had "signed an executive order that authorized the attorney general to approve electronic surveillance to acquire foreign intelligence information." Snow went on to claim that this represented "exactly what the president is doing."

Except for the teensy little detail that Carter prohibited the surveillance of US citizens....

But he doesn't stop there.  Why settle for a few lies when there are so many more to repeat?  How about this one about the FISA rules not allowing the FBI to look at the contents of Zacarias Moussaoui's laptop:

Snow said that FBI agents in possession of Zacarias Moussaoui's laptop "decided not to go ahead and look at the contents because they ... had no definite proof that the guy was a terrorist" and, therefore, couldn't meet the probable cause standard necessary for a warrant under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA).

This line of bullshit was first shoveled by William Kristol and Gary Schmitt, and was proven wrong nearly two years earlier by the Senate Judiciary Committee.

How about the "proof" that Bush was authorized to eavesdrop on international communications of US residents?  Of course there is that inconvenient little "fact" that the Constitution trumps all, and can't be disregarded and that the court didn't even discuss the warrentless spying on Americans (probably because at the time it was so ludicrous to claim that you can violate the Constitution.

Joe Wilson

You can't have a lying shill without the obligatory Joe Wilson lies and smears.  So just to be brief, we have this, where he repeated the lie of how Wilson said that Cheney sent him to Niger.  Or this one in the same column where he falsely claimed that the Senate Intelligence Committee concluded that Plame was responsible for Wilson's trip to Niger.  Or, of course, this lie about how Wilson claimed that his wife was not covert for six years before being illegally outed by Novakula.

Terrorism lies

For starters, we have the required lie about Gitmo being such a great facility.  Coming from someone in the comfort of a cushy TV studio, he goes on to talk about "the good life" that is being led:

more than 400 journalists have been through the facility in the past couple of years, and several hundred Congressional employees (members and staff) have taken the tour as well. To date, the grand total of returnees claiming to have seen, heard of or suspected prisoner abuse is ... zero. Amnesty International embarrassed itself badly when its Secretary General, along the executive director of AI-USA, offered wild accusations about U.S.-conducted tortures before having to confess that they had no evidence to support their assertions.

Contrary to cool-kid wisdom, Guantanamo may be the most humane prisoner-of-war facility in history. Prisoners get warm meals, cooked in accordance with Muslim food-handling and preparation guidelines; they receive a copy of the Koran in whatever language they prefer. They get prayer mats. Their captors have painted stencils on cell floors, pointing the way to Mecca. U-S personnel have received extensive instruction in appealing to terrorist religious sensitivities. Our guys may handle the Koran only after putting on clean white gloves, and they must carry the holy book with both hands, not just one. Bottom line: The prisoners live in posher surroundings than their captors, who live in tents. They get better meals, too.

Total.  Fucking.  Douchebag.

Or this gem about Bill Clinton first advanced by king of the total fucking douchebags, Sean Hannity (because all of the world's problems can be linked back to those damn Clintons) he said on February 25, 2006:

Sudan had offered to "hand over" Osama bin Laden to the United States in the 1990s, but that the Clinton administration responded, "Nah, don't want to do it."
.

But, oopsie, the 9/11 Commission itself determined (see page 3 of the link) that this was all bullshit and that there was "no reliable evidence to support [this] claim".

This guy doesn't even have the qualifications for the position of "good liar".  And I would think that would be the number one criteria for the position he is being considered for.  The only alternative would be to accept the fact that Fox News is now an "official" US Governmental agency.

Originally posted to clammyc on Sun Apr 23, 2006 at 10:28 AM PDT.

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