A few days ago, my brother sent me one of those emails that we all dread, but (sadly) receive every once in a while:
Someone you know has died.
In this case, it was Bill. My brother and I had spent a fair amount of time crawling around with Bill in caves. Caves have always been one of my passions, and they were one of Bill's as well. And when it comes to getting to know someone and learning what makes them tick, there are few activities better than caving. Try spending 12 to 16 hours underground with someone, climbing, contorting, squeezing through 8-inch high passages to see where they lead.
I digress... But trust me, this story does get extremely relevant to this blog if you follow me into the void below.
Anyway, go caving with someone every few weeks over the period of a couple of years. At the end of the experiment, you will know that person - and I mean know that person. Some of the best friends I will ever have I made while crawling around in caves.
As I mentioned earlier, I caved a lot with Bill - about 15-20 years ago. I remember Bill as smart (an amateur computer programmer), profoundly peaceful and non-violent, and one of the most committed, dedicated environmentalists I will ever, ever know. I considered myself thoroughly green-blooded before I met Bill. But that is only because I never had met someone who could set a true standard.
Bill is (was) to mrhelper as mrhelper is to Richard Pombo.
If something - anything - caught Bill's eye on the environmental front, he would write letters. Where I would simply bitch, Bill would write letters, talk to people, or organize. Every damn night, it seemed, Bill was tirelessly writing letters. He was a very, very committed activist - the kind that anyone at Daily Kos would be proud to have on their side of an issue.
Bill did more than write letters. It was through Bill that I first learned about Earth First! He lent me newsletters that left me breathless. You mean there are people who really do this stuff? There are people who feel THIS passionately about something? Although he never shared any details, it was obvious Bill had been very active in many of the protests in the forests of the Pacific Northwest back in the late 1980s.
Wow. This was someone I could really admire.
Circumstances didn't allow me to indulge in activism to the degree that Bill did, but I was totally in awe - and more than a little envious - of that passion. Damn, it was impressive.
Life took us in different directions, and I last saw him in the early 1990s. The last I heard he was living in Prescott, Arizona.
Fast forward to a few days ago, when I got this email from my brother:
I just read today in High Country News that suspected eco-terrorist Bill Rogers most recently of Prescott, AZ committed suicide in jail by putting a plastic bag over his head. Weird, huh?
WTF?
The article my brother referred to can be found here:
Eco-terrorism and the Trial of the Century
The article sent shivers up my spine. Bill? An "eco-terrorist?"
Remember that resort in Vail, Colorado that was torched?
Bill supposedly helped plan it.
Or so the FBI and our buddy Alberto Gonzales said. 11 charged in ecoterrorism arsons
Holy shit. It hit me like a ton of bricks - I'm now connected to Alberto Gonzales by a single degree of separation. And by a common acquaintance that Gonzales unabashedly refers to as a domestic terrorist in one of those "BE VERY FUCKING AFRAID BUT RELAX WE GOTCHA COVERED" press conferences. Damn.
DAMN. I know someone who got sucked into the Bush administration's terrorism vortex. And he got sucked in right at the moment the domestic spying story was breaking. At a time the administration would be desperately looking for a distraction.
I've been trying hard to make sense of it. There are those who think Bill really did it, and that his suicide was an admission of guilt. Could be. Often the most obvious answer is the correct one.
But then you read shit like this: CIA's Harsh Interrogation Techniques Described
In a description of U.S. government approved torture methods we learn that:
Water Boarding: The prisoner is bound to an inclined board, feet raised and head slightly below the feet. Cellophane is wrapped over the prisoner's face and water is poured over him. Unavoidably, the gag reflex kicks in and a terrifying fear of drowning leads to almost instant pleas to bring the treatment to a halt.
According to the sources, CIA officers who subjected themselves to the water boarding technique lasted an average of 14 seconds before caving in. They said al Qaeda's toughest prisoner, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, won the admiration of interrogators when he was able to last between two and two-and-a-half minutes before begging to confess.
I am not a conspiracy theorist. But when someone you know who is accused of terrorism dies in FBI custody with a plastic bag over his head AT THIS FUCKING TIME IN OUR NATION'S HISTORY - well, I guess you just can't be sure of things anymore.
And THAT, dear friends, is what I'm pissed about. What I know about Bill inclines me to disbelieve that he would depart so radically from his non-violent past. But times are strange, so I'm willing to allow it as a possibility. Likewise, I'm inclined to believe my government is not capable of suffocating a prisoner. But again, times are strange.
All I know is I'll never know. And that is a tragedy all by itself.
We could debate all day over whether the acts of these people rises to the level of "terrorism." Personally, I would prefer not to get sucked into such a debate, because it would detract from the point I want to hammer home by sharing this tragic story. I can't trust my government anymore on a matter of life and death involving someone I actually knew. The fact that I knew Bill shouldn't matter, but it sure amplifies the message for me.
Who else will be labeled "terrorist" by these thugs? Perhaps one day it will be someone you know. And if they die in custody, will you believe the official story line, even if it sounds plausible? I'm guessing you won't. At least not 100%.
As far as I'm concerned, the allegations against Bill and the atrocities of this administration cancel themselves out. So I am able to leave my memories of Bill intact. When I knew him, he was dedicated, gentle, non-violent, and extraordinarily committed to our environment - giving of himself in ways I could only dream about. I'll always remember him, just as I'll always remember the crimes of this administration. If I regret anything, it is that these memories must now reside together, side by side.
Bill in happier times... Stories like this one need a human face.