Just how will the family values religious right crowd deal with Deals for Sex/Hookergate? They can deal with domestic spying and lies about WMD because that's all necessary to prevent those heathens from spreading their un-Christian beliefs.
But, what will they say to prostitutes for their GOP homeboys? I was raised in a Pentecostal Holiness family where I was tortured with attending church 3x per week. If nothing else, I certainly learned how to twist the Bible to prove some crazy idea.
I haven't asked my family members what they think of all this just yet, but I know they will have an excuse of some sort. Here are some recommendations for getting out of this pickle:
1. Mary Magdalene was a prostitute and no one was closer to our Lord. We know we told you not to read the Da Vinci Code, but well, Jesus did love Mary and she was a prostitute.
2. Illicit sex can lead to great things if God is behind it!. Don't forget - our Lord and savior is descended from a line of prostitution and incest. Lot's daughters; Tamar; not to mention all of David's slutting around.
3. Political favors for sex is God's will sometimes. That favorite of God - David - got women as part of expanding God's kingdom. Sexual Barter can be valuable and God looks the other way if his greater purpose is served.
4. The flesh is weak, but the spirit is strong. God understands we make little mistakes. Particularly if you're voting to block Plan B from hitting the shelves and protecting the right of fertile cells - it's all good in the big picture scheme of things.
5. The Rapture is upon us!This is just another sign of the end of days. Our republican brothers are just helping achieve the time of the Rapture. They are tools of God.
6. Satan uses women as his temptresses. It will ruin you, you must watch for it always. That's why we can't let them have power - just think of Hillary Clinton. Our congressional brothers were just caught in Satan's snare. (Double points for slamming Hillary and comparing her to something satanic).
And for those wanting a really short explanation:
7. God works in mysterious ways. "Judge not that ye be judged not."
Hallelujah and Amen.