I wanted to write this as an Onion-like take on the immigration speech last night. Any editing help would be greatly appreciated. Just put comments at the bottom and I would love to see this fleshed out. Thanks for reading it.
WASHINGTON, DC (OP) - President Bush outlined his plan to build and extend a technologically advanced border fence last night in a groundbreaking prime-time speech on immigration.
The outline of the plan, given during the speech last night, included this in regards to a border fence. "We will construct high-tech fences in urban corridors, and build new patrol roads and barriers in rural areas. We will employ motion sensors, infrared cameras and unmanned aerial vehicles to prevent illegal crossings."
Today the Bush administration announced that they will rely on the Army Corps of Engineers to fulfill this important technologically advanced border security initiative.
"After looking at the wonderful work that the Corps of Engineers has done on our nationwide levee system, it is only natural that we would look to the Corps to lead this important initiative.", said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow.
The detailed Administration proposal, which has already been discussed and approved by relavent Democratic and Republican House and Senate Leaders, will be included in the next Iraq War Emergency funding request. The proposal includes money to build "border forts" like those the Corps has been building in Iraq. These "border forts" will cost $50 million dollars each and will be placed approximately 100 yards apart for the entire length of the 1,400 mile border.
General John C. Picketts, III, said about the proposal, "We look forward to using our vast experience and expertise gained while building border forts in Iraq and, of course, the highly successful Mississippi River levee system, to advance the protection of our country from all the teeming masses that want to come here."
The Corps has also announced a major unbidded sub-contract with Halliburton on the project. Halliburton stock rose 15% on the news in early trading.