Most of you have probably heard about Al Gore's guest appearance on Saturday Night Live this past weekend, where he claimed his rightful role as PotUS (albeit in an alternate realtiy) and solved all of our environmental problems (including redeveloping a natural habitat for Mastadons).
In Wednesday's edition, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reprinted his sketch in its near entirety, so that others not part of SNL's (shrinking) audience may see what might have been. More good publicity destroying his 'robot' image that the Right still tries to place on him.
Snippets for those who need them below.
On solving global warming and dealing with global cooling:
"In the last six years we have been able to stop global warming. No one could have predicted the negative results of this. Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack.
"As you know, these renegade glaciers have already captured parts of upper Michigan and northern Maine, but I assure you: We will not let the glaciers win."
On the gas crisis we would face if he were President, with very well delivered snark if you didn't see it live:
"We have way too much gasoline. Gas is down to $0.19 a gallon and the oil companies are hurting.
"I know that I am partly to blame by insisting that cars run on trash.
"I am therefore proposing a federal bailout to our oil companies because -- hey, if it were the other way around, you know the oil companies would help us.
On our massive, out of control, negative deficits:
"But all this came at a high cost. As I speak, the gigantic national budget surplus is down to a perilously low $11 trillion.
"And don't get any ideas. That money is staying in the very successful lockbox. We're not touching it.
"Of course, we could give economic aid to China, or lend money to the Saudis ... again.
"But right now we're already so loved by everyone in the world that American tourists can't even go over to Europe anymore ... without getting hugged.
"There are some of you that want to spend our money on some made-up war. To you I say: what part of "lockbox" don't you understand? ..."
Other topics he covers are Immigration, steroids in baseball, NSA phonetapping, ridding the world of tornadoes and hurricanes, the global war on terror, etc.
If you haven't seen it, check it out. And to those who have seen it, I assure you it's just as funny the 10th time.