This site has experienced a bit of a divide due to the immigration issue. Far be it from me to claim to have the proper opinion. Everyone has their views, and it's not my place to tell anyone that they're wrong.
Here's why pro-immigration people are wrong.
I figure the best way to bring these people back into the fold is to look at their arguments one by one and show why they suck. But before I do that, let's get some things straight.
1) I am not a racist. I have had many non-white people in my life, some of whom I've even hung out with outside of work and school. I also want you to know that I know nearly 40% of their full names. I've found them to be delightful folks, kind yet docile, exhibiting none of the arrogance some of the protestors have exhibited at these recent marches, what with them waving their flags and demanding equal rights and being all proud of their heritage. As an American--a PROUD American (God, I love this country. America, FUCK YEAH!)--I find their pride in their heritage to incredibly insulting to the great country I'm proud to call my home, which is America. But more on that later.
I'm not racist.
2) I am not xenophobic. I'm CAUTIOUS. There's a difference. It doesn't necessarily make me xenophobic to call the police on someone I don't know ringing my doorbell. How was I supposed to know that they needed directions to the highway? They could just as easily wanted to rob me. And the fact that they were Latino had nothing to do with my call to the police, it was just a coincidence.
I'm not racist.
3) I am a taxpayer. My wages are taxed, and if my bother-in-law screws up my taxes, I pay the government what I owe. Sometimes it takes awhile, because I'm pretty busy. But they get their money, and often I include an apology note if I pay them late. Since I pay taxes, that means my opinion matters.
I'm not racist.
OK, we got that cleared up. Now, let's move onto the pro-immigration arguments so I can slam them in the face with a one-two combo of eloquence and emotional-talking points. The pro-immigration nonsense is in "bold". My response is in "awesome".
Anti-immigration people are closet xenophobes and racists.
I already addressed that above, idiot. Try and pay attention. But in the interest of being thorough, I'll say more.
I am not a racist. I just don't think EVERYONE should be allowed to come in here. Polish immigrants are OK. We have some of them in my neighborhood. They buy houses and fix them up then sell them to rich people. Where would rich people get houses if not for the Polish? So Polish are all right with me. I'm half Polish, why wouldn't I want my ancestors to come here?
Include pretty much all of Europe in that, too. Germans make good beer, I like most of the European accents. It's charming, let's get some more charm up in America!
Canadians are OK, too. I mean, come on. Canada is basically the light-beer version of America anyway, so why not let our little brother and sister notherners in?
So, I can't be xenopobic, because I have no problems with Canadians and Europeans coming here.
As for the racist thing... look, I'm not racist, OK? I'm just NOT.
That's good enough.
The process for immigration is not fair.
This is so stupid I don't even know where to begin.
There's a process for immigration. You just said it. Why don't they just follow it? I know people who have done it, and it's never taken longer than like 20 years. If they were really interested in coming here, they'd be willing to pay the same prices all of us have paid.
....
Moving on.
Immigrants contribute to the American economy.
If by "contribute" you mean "take jobs away from TheBlaz," then you'd be right.
I mean, not jobs like being a waiter or busboy, or like doing construction work. I don't want to do things like that, they can have those. It seems like a lot of work. And working in the fast food industry? Come on, I went to college. I'm better than that. Something better than those things WOULD have come along by now if not for 12 million illegals all scrambling to take away my livelihood.
It was different when I interviewed for jobs and AMERICANS were picked over me. Completely, totally, and utterly somehow different.
It just was.
Everyone in America started as an immigrant except for Native Americans.
Back in the past, that may have been true. But those were different times. It was a free-for-all land grab, and we won. To the victor goes the spoils. Things are different now. AMERICA is in charge. And I'm not going to give up my house (once I move out of my parents' and get my own!) and job (once I get one! fingers crossed) just because in the past my ancestors had the forethought to come here and steal from other people.
Besides, stealing is wrong now.
Immigrants contribute a great many things to our culture.
Look, I like some of the mexican music (Feliz Navidad is catchy, but why couldn't it be sung completely in English? Then it'd be awesome), guacamole is awesome, and I like a Corona as much as the next guy, but contributions does not mean they belong. I belong. People like ME who ACT like me and TALK like me and LOOK like me--
I'm not racist.
English isn't the official language so it's stupid to use that as an excuse against immigration.
If English isn't our official language, then why is TV in English? Any channel that speaks in a way I can't understand has a special name for it, like "The Spanish Channel" and "The Korean Channel" and "The Learning Channel."
* * *
So, in summation:
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
So much for that.
(I'm not a racist).