This just in: Republican Congressman Michael Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania has introduced a bill requiring all American citizens and residents under the age of 18 to remain within their parents or guardians homes at all times. Most relevant parts of the news story reposted below:
...Fitzpatrick describes his new bill as "the logical next step" from his proposed bill to ban minors from accessing so-called "social networking" sites while outside the home.
Fitzgerald recounts how after the overwhelmingly positive reaction to his first bill from fellow House Republicans, including House Speaker Dennis Hastert, he "got to thinking". From a press briefing:
...And then I got to thinking. There was actually another area where kids - innocent, helpless kids - were vulnerable to unsupervised contact with strange adults, with who knows what consequences: the outdoors. When children leave the home, we have reason to be concerned.
Fitzpatrick's new bill is also known as DOPA, with the letters now standing for the Deleting Outside Predators Act. It would be enforced by a combination of already existing truant officers and local police. It is believed that the similarity with his previous bill was intended to capitalize on that bill's already established popularity with conservatives.
Congressional Republicans and other conservatives were swift to endorse Fitzpatrick's proposal. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist noted "I'm a doctor, and as a doctor I can tell you that the vast majority of injuries our kids suffer occur outside the home. What does that tell you? I hope it tells you that I'm a doctor." Anti-government activists expressed satisfaction as well, with Grover Norquist observing that "As a significant fringe benefit, this bill would also at last enable the American taxpayers to be free of the burden of the public school." Representatives of the religious right were also enthusiastic, with the Christian Coalition dismissing concerns that the bill may damage young persons social lives by stating:
We believe all children are able to achieve all the satisfaction in life anyone could - or should - desire by sitting quietly, studying the Bible on which this great country was founded, and honoring their parents in an unobtrusive manner. Furthermore, if children feel the need for friends, there is nothing stopping them from speaking with them over the phone while their parents and the NSA listen carefully.
Citing these observations, evangelical scientists were confident in their assertions that "normal social development of young people will be basically unaffected by passage of this bill, God willing". They also expressed their willingness to aid citizens in converting to homeschooling, noting that many of their members abandoned the oppressively fact-based public school system long ago.
Reaction from Congressional Democrats was mixed. While some highly partisan Democrats, such as Senators Barbara Boxer and Russ Feingold, joined by special interest groups such as the ACLU, condemned the bill as "a massively unConstitutional assault on our young people's rights", most seemed to tacitly accept that the bill would be passed. Notably, a senior adviser to Sen. Hillary Clinton, the Democrats presumptive nominee for the Presidency in 2008, disavowed any plan to seriously contest the bill should it reach the Senate, noting that:
"This just isn't an issue that works for us, politically. Minors can't vote, and we all know how hard it is to argue against something that would increase kids' safety. This simply isn't something the American people are interested in fighting against, and the extremists in our party need to get ahold of that fact. We need to be pragmatic and save our ammunition for when it can count."
The Senator's office was unavailable for comment on a recent Gallup Poll showing more than 60% of Americans who have heard of the new bill oppose it. However, noted liberal columnist Joe Klein praised the "incredible authenticity" Rep. Fitzpatrick showed by defying the polls, adding "I think John McCain may have just found his vice president."
(Cross-posted at MyDD)