Skip to main content

First let me just get this off my chest:

It was me. I Farted in DC the senate offices this morning. I'm sorry.

I had some broccoli and beer last night with a fried egg sandwich. I normally wouldn't eat that for dinner, but I got home late and was in a hurry, and that was all I had in the fridge. I knew at 4 this morning I was gonna have a hard day when my stomach started rumbling, but I too tired to get up and take care of business...

While passing through the security line I felt a pain in my gut that was almost unbearable. I held it in and steadfastly refused to buckle over, even though I was in extreme pain. I was worried that if I showed any discomfort at the security checkpoint, I would end up being thrown to the ground. A situation such as that would have ended up REAL MESSY. So I perservered and made it through the checkpoint just in time.

At this point I was in some SERIOUS PAIN. I made a beeline for the nearest restroom and as soon as my tookus hit the seat I let out the loudest rip-roaringest fart I have ever heard.

A janitor had walked in just after me and was unaware of my presence. The pitch and volume of my passing gas was of such an alien and unfamiliar sound that I can see how the poor man must have thought a bomb went off.

I heard him scream and scamper away.

At this point I knew there was gonna be trouble so I quickly finished my business and strolled away. As I was scurrying though the growing crowd of people they were all talking in a growing panic trying to ascertain what that sound had been "Maybe it was bomb", "It sounded like gunfire", "Was it something backfiring?" I saw the janitor leading a pack of policemen towards the restroom. I got outta there as fast as I could.

You can see how it might have been embarrasing to admit to every one that I farted, but as this story has grown, I feel it is my responsibility to stand up and tell the truth....As embarassing as it may be.


Originally posted to roboton on Fri May 26, 2006 at 11:40 AM PDT.


Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site