I'm "Maverick Troll" and I'm undefinable! But like most Americans, I stand in the MIDDLE. Heck, I'm very careful to stand directly in the middle of the President's ass cheeks when I
pucker up. I'm running for President! You can hunt me by reminding everyone how I play both sides: like when I called Jerry Fallwell an
"agent of intolerance" and then spoke at his little fundie Liberty University
graduation.
More odious trolls below the fold...
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I'm "Fristy Troll" and I knew Terri Schiavo
wasn't blind, but my multi-million dollar
"trusts" were. So I was a weensy-bit incorrect. You got a problem?! I could cut out your heart and watch it beat in my
own bloody hands. Oh, I want to be your President too! You can hunt me by reminding everyone how I embody GOP corruption --
insider trading,
defrauding Medicare, you know, business as usual.
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I'm "Dominion Troll" and I say God's going to come and kick your demonic ass. If you happen to be gay, an A-rab or Hugo Chavez, consider your ass "Left Behind" (if you make it to judgment day). You can hunt me by telling your fundie friends that you thought Jesus Christ was the lamb of God, the prince of peace -- not the kicker of ass and taker of names.
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I'm "Rasputin Troll" and sure I've got a little legal trouble, but I'm still the one pulling the strings. I follow "Rove's First Law of Political Dynamics:" For each and every GOP weakness, I'll accuse the Democrats of an even greater identical weakness. You can hunt me by showing some spine -- for supporting candidates who refuse to be defined by their opposition.
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I'm "Novakula Troll" and sure I've got a little legal trouble too. Covering up a smear campaign against an ambassador and his covert CIA agent wife is hard work. Good thing Rasputin Troll and I have practice at smear campaigns. You can hunt me by wearing a garlic necklace.
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I'm "Decider Troll" and I decide. I decide that my deciding's good -- except when it's bad, like when I decided to ride that Segway, or that bike or that bike again-- or lie the country into war while letting Osama go. Then there was that time I tried Nutella on my toast instead of PB&J. Real bad. I'm not running for President again, so nyah! You could hunt me, but don't you really want to hunt the Republican Party? You know -- the ones who stand for corruption, for illegal war, for domestic wiretapping without warrants, for crony capitalism, for coverups, for bribery, for quid pro quo, for enslaving our children to debt? Remember, it's not about me, it's about the GOP! Hey, that rhymes!
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Bring it on, Daily Kos! Now, go hunt some troll.