What exactly is a stinking pile of crap? WIth corn in it?
The "Bill of Rights" consists of the first Ten Amendments to the United States Constitution. It contains a lot of stupid drivel like "no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause" and "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion . . ." It also allows us to all carry bazookas and .50 caliber machine guns when it says "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed."
A piece of toilet paper, no doubt.
Amendment the First.
You have the right to free
Speech as long as you're not
Dumb enough to actually try it.
-The Clash "Know your rights"
The rest of my complete rant below the fold.
Amendment the Second.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.
Bazookas. Chicks with guns. Cool.
Amendment the Third.
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Unless the "house" is the entire country of Iraq or Afghanistan. Help me out here, folks. I need some good "No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house" snarky goodness.
Amendment the Fourth.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
"President Bush signed a secret order in 2002 authorizing the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on U.S. citizens and foreign nationals in the United States, despite previous legal prohibitions against such domestic spying, sources with knowledge of the program said last night."
By Dan Eggen
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, December 16, 2005; Page A01
http://www.washingtonpost.com/...
Amendment the Fifth.
No person shall be . . . deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.
Two syllables: "git" and "mo"
Amendment the Sixth.
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.
In the words of that immortal drug addict Rush Limbaugh, "ditto." (see comment on previous amendment)
Amendment the Seventh.
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars . . .
WTF?
Amendment the Eighth.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
"A top US official has described the suicides of three detainees at the US base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, as a 'good PR move to draw attention'."
BBC online: Sunday, 11 June 2006, 16:46 GMT 17:46 UK
http://news.bbc.co.uk/...
Amendment the Ninth.
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
An obvious ass wiping amendment of no real consequence.
Amendment the Tenth.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.
Just blow your snot in this one, then discard.