Yesterday I was sitting outside a coffee shop. My migraines have gotten to a point where anything but natural light really gives me a headache. So, I was sitting outside, laptop in my lap, borrowing their WiFi connection, wearing my dKos sweatshirt - and a woman walking past me stopped and asked if I had been at Yearly Kos.
I don't want to "out" her in case she'd rather me not tell the entire world that she lives in Ann Arbor, but she was a Kossack, too. One I hadn't met in Ann Arbor yet. I reckon I've met about 16 Michigan liberals - mostly Kossacks with a few Kossack significant others mixed in - in the seven days I've been here.
I can't even begin to say thank you for the kindness I've been shown by everyone I've met here, but it also really made it obvious: we are a family. It's not a once-a-year thing that happens at conventions. If the right is only afraid because the Warner campaign thinks we are worthy of chocolate fountains and the WaPo pays attention to us... then they don't even know the half of it.
I feel like I'm at the best and the worst points in my life all at once. On one hand, I've discovered what I love (writing) and a way to do it (Daily Kos), even if it doesn't pay (yet). I'm potentially a few days away from getting care for a disability that has plagued me for a decade (migraines). I have great friends, a new house, an almost-paid-for car that I refuse to drive (unless it's absolutely necessary), two cats who I love like children, and on good days, I love my day job.
On the other hand, I'm sitting here, alone, in a city I've never been to before, where I know no one. My parents are in France. I haven't told most family members I am here so that I do not worry them. My closest friend from home is in Spain. I am out of cell phone minutes. I need hospital care to fix my migraines and my lifestyle is severely impacted because of them (try to spend one day of your life avoiding the things that give me headaches - all fluorescent lights and CRT computers, TVs, ATMs, and the like... it's impossible).
At the end of this debacle, I am going to have zero vacation or sick days left for the rest of the year. I might have to take unpaid time. I just bankrupted myself of Marriott points and I am fortunate that a Quaker house has taken me in for $25/night. I'm burning through a lot of money. What's better, I packed 2 outfits and 2 weeks of underwear, figuring I'd be wearing hospital clothes this whole time. I hope I don't smell. And, while I might go to the hospital around Wednesday or Thursday of this week, my insurance still has not given me the thumbs up. I might find out Wednesday that after all of this time, I have to go home to Wisconsin, back to work, back to migraines.
I should feel guilty and bad about the vacation and sick time I'm taking. It's a glass half empty/glass half full type thing. If I let myself feel stress, I'll feel stress. I'm trying to make the best of it. I get some time off, I get some time to read and to write. In the end, my job is just a job - my life is important. Once I get my headaches fixed, I'll have my life back. I'll continue to do my job (albeit sans vacation time), but I'll be much happier while I am there because I won't be in pain. I can be a normal employee like everyone else, and I don't need to rely on the Americans with Disabilities Act any longer.
So while I just listed off a string of complaints - that's the glass half empty point of view, and I'm doing fairly well at keeping myself from going down that road. I'm pretty happy. I'm sticking to the glass half full point of view. But Daily Kos is really the one thing that has kept me from being stressed out, lonely, and miserable over the past week.
You want organized left? I'll give you organized left.
Last September, I found out about the UFPJ march in DC through dKos. I met some Kosssacks there, including Cedwyn and Elizabeth D.
Back home in Madison, I met up with Elizabeth D. I had no idea why none of my diaries were recommended. Elizabeth gave me some good advice for diary optimization, but she kept talking about how her WYFP diaries or the C&J diaries were important to the community. "Community?" I thought. "It's a blog! It's just the internet. Random people on the internet. And it's a political blog. What's the point of discussing anything other than politics?" Of course, Elizabeth was right - it just took me a while to see it.
Elizabeth D introduced me to Ben Masel. Eventually I met a few other WI Kossacks as well as some people from the local Democratic party. I swear I will get involved, one of these days. As soon as these headaches are a thing of the past, it will be much more feasible. I want to see Bryan Kennedy win.
When I planned a trip to Oregon for a vacation, Cedwyn lent me her couch. The first night in town, I went to Portland's Drinking Liberally and met a few other Portland Kossacks. One of them has become a good friend. She walked me home that night, and we spent the next week exploring Oregon together.
Cedwyn decided last minute to come to Yearly Kos, which meant I wasn't truly "Flying Solo" that week (although I admit I went to the Flying Solo thing anyway because I like Mem from Sommerville and it was a decent enough excuse to hang out).
Now I'm here. The first night we had a Kossack meetup with a turnout of 13 people. Since then, Kossacks have given me a tour of town, shown me several great restaurants, taken me to the farmer's market, and filled me in on Michigan politics. It's gotten to the point where one Kossack said she wants to get involved with the governor race and I've sent her names and email addresses of other Mich Kossacks I've met to get her started. Take that, Michigan Republicans!
In 7 days here, I've only been alone for two days. Even then, I've spent hours on the phone with non-Michigan Kossacks (new friends from Yearly Kos) - and of course, I've spent time blogging :)
I'm just one person. My UID is 40,000 or so. I'm not that old, even in Internet Years, and I'm not that new either. I've been around a bit over a year, but only very active since Elizabeth D showed me the ropes after the UFPJ rally. I'm absolutely overwhelmed by the realization that I do not think I could have gotten through the past week without our Daily Kos family.
But think about it - I'm just one person. How many of us are there? The right really has something to worry about. When it hits them, I wonder if they will have seen it coming?